:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

:: Friday, December 31, 2004 ::

"Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. Then they think you are just fine. Just what they've been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."

Conservatives want live babies for the same reason anyone wants live babies... because babies are pink and squishy and warm and innocent and precious. Conservatives want live babies because it's really no fun loving dead babies. They want live babies because they were once babies too. They were protected and allowed to remain alive and, oddly enough, want to extend that to other growing persons, particularly vulnerable, faultless, totally dependent babies.

In contrast to the Liberal spitters (reference to the 70's Fonda crowd who gave such a warm reception to Vietnam Vets upon their post-war return) conservatives do value and are proud of our soldiers because they voluntarily sacrifice themselves for Carlin's right to run his foul, lying mouth. (Perhaps no one has told Carlin that pink tea parties rarely convince the Taliban.)

Carlin doesn't seem to be the poster child for personal sacrifice, so it's no surprise really that he doesn't understand what an insult he is to the people who are dying for him.

I think it's worth mentioning that he sees abortion as a "choice" when the child it kills is never consulted... and he sees "dead soldiers", who voluntarily fight, as victims of their conservative parents. Apparently, the wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

Happy New Year.
You're lucky to be here.

Other posts in the Carlin series:
Post One
Post Two
Post Three
Post Five
Post Six
Post Seven
Post Eight
Post Nine
Post Ten
Post Eleven
Post Twelve
Finale

:: ashli 11:00 PM # ::
...

An "anti-choicester" writes of my photo:

"Well, no matter what you do you'll never be as f**kably sexy as George Carlin."

(You gotta love it!)

Moving right along...

"These conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn, they will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born (gives the finger) you're on your own.Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus, from conception to nine months. After that, they don't wanna know about you. They don't wanna hear from you. No-nothing! No neo-natal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're fucked!"

1. I can only assume that Carlin is referring to the fact that conservatives generally vote Republican. What he might not consider is that conservatives are only conservative in some areas, like say, maiming and killing women and children via abortion. We're radically conservative about that. However, I know a TON of conservatives who are very liberal when it comes to education, welfare, the environment, etc. The problem is, liberals make sure that we can't vote liberal, like many of us would otherwise be glad to, because the platform includes abandoning women and children to abortion, which is very anti-civil rights/Mother Earth.

2. What a contrast the liberal abortion-supporter is when it comes to the born person! Once the born woman carries out her "duty" to abort her child (that she would most likely have kept if her abortion-supporting boyfriend/husband/parent/friend/boss would have let her), the abortion supporter is surely there at 3 A.M. when the roto-rooted mama is grieving broken-hearted on the kitchen floor.

The abortion supporter is surely there when the mother gets breast cancer because of what the abortion procedure does to her body, right?

The abortion supporter is surely there when a mom has to spend the second half of every subsequent pregnancy on complete bedrest because the abortion obliterated her cervix.

The abortion supporter is surely there when she is burning herself to distract herself finally with pain she can understand and treat.

The abortion supporter is surely there when her relationship with her surviving children becomes confusing, contradictory and painful.

The abortion supporter is surely there when intimacy disappears from the marriage due to the bloody scenes that flash before Mother's eyes when her legs are spread as her husband enters her body.

The abortion supporter is surely there when she wants to tell her story, when she wants to cry, when she is sorry, right? RIGHT?

Not a chance.

The abortion supporter is only there to put an arm around a grieving mother... so they can reach around and clap a hand over her wailing mouth. "Shut up," the abortion supporter sneers. "Your voice is not wanted. You made your bed, now lie in it. It was your choice. YOUR choice!"

3. "Pro-lifers" nowhere to be found after the baby is born? Are you kidding me? I am about to drag my whole family across Florida to attend the wedding of a very dear friend of mine who I first "met" over the phone when a "sidewalk counselor" gave me the gal's number after meeting her outside of the abortion clinic where she was going in to kill her baby at 23 weeks. It's a long story.

Yes, I intentionally dissuaded her from aborting her child. I never made a secret of that. I was trying to help her. Why would I lead her down the horrific, devastating path I've found myself on? Why would anyone want that for another soul? I was there then; I am there now.

After the baby was born, my friend needed a car. I found a free car for her in 48 hours. She needed to find housing. I found different types and also offered my own home to her and her daughter if she could not find what she wanted; I promised that they would not be out on the street, etc.

I don't tick down the roster for self-glorification; I've done nothing good compared to the ruin my life has caused. But it is to say that I have been there and I will be there, because it is not a charity to love and befriend. It is the synergy of sharing this planet with others and inviting them into your life.

Does anyone believe that they are themselves not in a position of need? I tell you the scenario is a fantasy! Are there levels we exist on wherein we "reach down" off our high horse and dispassionately extend, to the "grateful, lower masses", some nugget of impersonal assistance without posessing ourselves the humble destitution of human nature and exigency? Can anyone who gives not receive? I am eternally grateful for what others have to teach and offer.

When I was so sick for so long that I was unable to even converse on the phone, my dear friend, the girl "accosted" at the abortion clinic, left me messages of love and encouragement that would have me weeping. She was my angel. She was and is a better friend than I!

From the beginning of our friendship she never left me and I never left her, and we both came out smiling. That is feminism. Crying at 3 A.M. because another woman held your hand all the way into the abortion clinic is not.

I've got news for George Carlin: if a problem is big enough to "warrant" abortion, it will never be solved by abortion, and women deserve better than the added insult.

I am living proof that people who oppose abortion are there long after the baby is born. Additionally, many who are opposed to abortion are there long after the mechanical whirring of the aspirator shuts off and the baby is "not born".

Traditionally, abortion supporters refused to admit that a normal woman, that is to say a woman who was not seriously mentally ill, was even capable of regretting the self-imposed child loss experience that is abortion. It is only now, after "pro-lifers", who "don't care about women", pioneered the massive "post-abortion healing" movement, that the idea is in vogue and abortion supporters decide they give a flying fig about women after abortion.

I suspect it is less about women and more about keeping up appearances. George Carlin would probably disagree. But hey, he's too sexy for this blog.

Other posts in the Carlin series:
Post One
Post Two
Post Four
Post Five
Post Six
Post Seven
Post Eight
Post Nine
Post Ten
Post Eleven
Post Twelve
Finale

:: ashli 10:13 PM # ::
...

This will take days, and I'm certain will not be well done. However, the rant begins...

"Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"

Me during one of my "unf**kable" stages:



Other posts in the Carlin series:
Post One
Post Three
Post Four
Post Five
Post Six
Post Seven
Post Eight
Post Nine
Post Ten
Post Eleven
Post Twelve
Finale

:: ashli 10:47 PM # ::
...

George Carlin is entering a drug rehabilitation program to kick his dependence on alcohol and drugs. Makes sense to me. He must have been both drunk and high when he came up with this.

I think I'm going to spend some time blogging it, because I used to really like Carlin and thought his whole speil on this subject was both true and tremendously entertaining. But that was in a former life when I was an ignorant gargantuan buttwad.

The liberal laugh used to crack me up... until I woke up and realized the joke was on me. Reality proved to be instant detoxification. So over the next few days I'll be reaming Carlin's rhetoric just for the personal high.

Subsequent posts in the Carlin series:
Post Two
Post Three
Post Four
Post Five
Post Six
Post Seven
Post Eight
Post Nine
Post Ten
Post Eleven
Post Twelve
Finale

:: ashli 6:25 PM # ::
...

I had a rare off-topic post up for a day or so re: some difficulties I had with ordering from Back to Basics Toys. Talking to this supervisor and that proved to be time-consuming and aggravating. I ended up uncharacteristically blogging the experience, and it fired me up again, so I called and spoke to, literally, the supervisor's supervisor's supervisor. I read the blog entry to her, and she asked me for the URL. If they ever went and took a gander I wonder how horrified they were to find themselves on a blog about abortion.

Long story short...

The company basically paid for my child's entire Christmas. Upon returning from my valiant quest to procure the largest Christmas ham in all creation, I found a cardboard toy store waiting on my doorstep. We are talking hundreds of dollars worth of toys for absolutely free.

BTBT's motto is:

"They do make 'em like they used to!"

Evidently, they do sell 'em like they used to too!

:: ashli 9:13 AM # ::
...

Likin' it.
Linkin' it.

:: ashli 10:00 AM # ::
...

A spot-on quote (Thanks, Julie):

"I am aware that many object to the severity of my language; but is there not cause for severity? I will be as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject I do not wish to think, or speak, or write, with moderation... I am in earnest - I will not equivocate - I will not excuse - I will not retreat a single inch - and I will be heard." ~ William Lloyd Garrison, abolitionist, ca. 1831

:: ashli 9:59 AM # ::
...

Banannie directs us to this amazing piece:

"...the best thing of all surely being the promised assurance between human beings that what happens to you will happen to me because I share your heartbeat."

("And you may ask yourself
Am I right?... am I wrong???
And you may tell yourself
My God...
What have I done?"
-Talking Heads)

:: ashli 4:34 PM # ::
...

I was reading "Section VI: Endorsements" in the LDI Boycott List when my eyeballs fell out.

Many groups, including Feminists for Life, endorse LDI's list.

However, there was a special note that Care Net and Priests for Life were "removed as endorsing organizations because they knowingly and willingly chose to do business with a corporation [American Express*] while it was a boycott target."

That is to say... for a brief moment in time two abortion-opposing organizations knowingly and willingly helped to fund Planned Parenthood.

And as I sit here in shock at what others have done I realize immediately that our family has not yet pulled our account with a bank on the list.

I apologize to everyone.

It will be a MAJOR hassle, but mark my words...
It will be done before the new year!

We can all do better.

*American Express is no longer on the boycott list.

:: ashli 4:10 PM # ::
...

I was DEE-lighted to read the Washington D.C. "Silent No More" guidelines for writing your testimony. Evidently they are rethinking a position or two. This is significantly different from 2000 "policy":

1. "In preparing your testimony and two-minutes statement, focus on how abortion hurt you, rather than your recovery. Your testimonies of recovery are dynamic and encouraging, but our purpose is to be "Silent No More" about how abortion hurts women. Talking about how the Lord has healed you is more appropriate for churches and other Christian activities. We recognize that without forgiveness we would not have a story to share. However, it would be detrimental for the media to be able to dismiss the devastation of abortion by portraying women as guilt-ridden only because of their religious beliefs."

In the year 2000 I stood on the steps of Florida's capitol and said my piece for SNM organizers. I was glad to be there, but it came at the price of a begrudged compromise: I was required to talk about "healing" somewhere in my story. Grrr.

For those new to this blog, I have quite a personal problem with the concept... but it is just that: a personal problem. I don't involve myself in the "healing" affairs of others, and if others feel in their very marrow that they are "healed" from losing a child, then I accept that. I know that other women claim they never feel grief or anything but good vibrations regarding their child loss through abortion, and I don't argue with them either. I don't understand, but I certainly don't deny that other people can have situations and feelings that differ from mine. The only time I get knicker-twisted is when those feelings are imposed on others. Don't demand that moms feel good about abortion and don't demand that they be healed.

(Let people feel how they feel; opinions will not change the fact that abortion kills a child and is therefore an horrific inhumanity.)

In 2000 I tried to express to a SNM higher-up that my husband and I had been very happily anticipating our first child when something went horribly awry with my health and health care... and it resulted in one obscenely rueful visit to an abortion mill. Speaking only for myself and my own situation, I tried to express that my faith in God did not change the fact that I was missing a child every day, that my body was damaged forever, and that, in spite of God's perfect forgiveness, I still kinda felt bad for having my baby eviscerated alive. I refused to claim that I'd been "healed" from my child's abortion-related death and demanded that my perpetually mortified state be validated. None of this went over very well.

Enter Georgette Forney. She was much more open to dialogue and admitted that she had not quite considered such a point of view, but that I really "should" include at least SOMETHING about "healing". I agreed to talk about things that help me cope with day-to-day living, things that keep me from crashing my car into a telephone pole or poking myself in the ankle with a ricin-tipped umbrella. But I had really just wanted to talk about how losing my child in an abortion didn't help me and how it had actually made things much worse than I'd ever imagined possible. That abortion was a bad thing was a relatively new concept for me, and I wanted people to know what was truly going on, not in a smiling Planned Parenthood ad... but in real life.

The only other SNM thing I had a problem with was the language. Long-time readers know that I'm just an unyielding shrew when it comes to linguistics. SNM wanted me to hold a placard that read "I regret my abortion." Ohhhh, I just had a problem with that.

It wasn't so much the abortion. I mean, even though I bled dangerously and was permanently physically disabled, the procedure itself was cake compared to the illness I had been dealing with. I didn't even need pain meds after a second trimester abortion. In fact, I felt physically better than I had in months. Honestly, I could have died in the hotel tub and left the world feeling much improved.

But of course, as has been said in previous posts, a few hours after the drugs wore off and my husband was fast asleep in the top-floor hotel room... I was trying to pry open unopenable windows in an attempt to cast off this wretched, crawling mortal coil. The emotional distress was terrible, impossible. Even now, the words aren't there to describe it; none exist. Instead I find myself sucking in unusually large portions of air in attempts to survive a moment of facing the bare naked torment of remembering the day I began to be who I am without my child... and the tragic injustice of his/her suffering death. There is always that.

Appendectomies don't bother me; babyectomies suck a massive butt. The abortion itself didn't hurt, but losing my baby in the abortion kills me every day.

Instead of "I regret my abortion," I reasoned that personally, "I regret losing my child in an abortion," was preferable. The SNM signs were printed however, and that's not what they said. I opined that we should not assist the abortion movement in making the issue so sterile and impersonal. I insisted, as I always do, that the way to go was to bring the focus on losing a child, not gaining an abortion.

IMHO, the entire SNM campaign is NOT about abortion but about child loss through abortion. I mean, that is my understanding. Is it possible that it is only about feeling the pain of shame and guilt and then not feeling ashamed and guilty anymore? No, I refuse to entertain that thought. It's after one in the morning (my time stamp doesn't work); I must be really tired. My point is... I had a problem with the "my abortion" language. I didn't "get" an abortion. I lost a child.

Short story long, I was interested to see a second addition, regarding suggested testimony terminology, in the 2004 SNM guidelines. Participants are encouraged to use:

2. "Pregnancy loss through abortion or termination instead of abortion"

Hmm. As you may well imagine, wordly wiseacre that I am, I am not entirely satisfied. "Pregnancy loss" seems a little wimpy. Who cares about losing a "pregnancy"? I sure as heck don't! I semi-recently gave birth to a healthy little girl after spending 32 weeks in bed due to a combination of high risk complications; losing the pregnancy was the best thing that ever happened to me!

I would have been really impressed if SNM had suggested "child loss through abortion", but heck, I'll take what progress I can get.

Don't get me wrong. I am in no way saying that I had any influence on the changes at SNM. In fact, the only influence I may have had was to exasperate everyone I talked to with my finicky testimony/placard standards. I only mean to say that I am encouraged to see the two changes, as they were the main beefs I had with SNM.

Now that I no longer have SNM gripes I don't know what to do with myself.

:: ashli 11:02 PM # ::
...

Thank God for Catholics!

:: ashli 11:01 PM # ::
...

Call me a cynic, but this looks like another one of those "changes" that won't change a thing. Once again the fox guards the hen house. If the abortionist deems the abortion "necessary" then it's a go. Has anyone ever heard of an abortion that wasn't necessary to an abortionist?

In China, as it is here, the concept is a bit ridiculous.

:: ashli 9:11 AM # ::
...

"Botched abortion"? I call it a successful escape!

:: ashli 10:40 PM # ::
...

Abortion advocates demand an end to choice.

:: ashli 10:36 PM # ::
...

Excerpted from an email I received:

"Let me see if I can get this straight ...
Scott Peterson murders a pre-born baby boy at 8 months gestation. Gets the death penalty.
An abortionist murders a pre-born baby at 8 months gestation. Gets paid over $10,000.
So, if Scott Peterson had brought Laci to an abortion clinic to murder little Connor by abortion at 8 months gestation it would be perfectly fine?
How does one man get the death penalty and the other get off Scott free?
I think we have to make up our minds. Are these babies PEOPLE or NOT? Are pre-born babies VICTIMS or NOT?"

To answer your question, apparently they're only human if their mother says so. Today humanity is based not on fact but on personal opinion. And so-called "feminist" groups (NARAL, NOW, etc.) call this philosophy evolved.

:: ashli 10:23 PM # ::
...

Diane (mom with cancer) died listening to a reading of Psalms and holding a family member's hand. Below is an excerpt from an email from that person.

(I still have Diane's family's address. Ask me, ask me, ask me.)

"Hi Ashli,
I’ll tell you what I know about sizes and then if I find out anymore tomorrow (I’m keeping the children all day) I can let you know.

Gabriel is 4 years old, and he loves Thomas the Tank and Spiderman. He is a pretty normal 4 year old size I think…maybe a 5. Charisma is 21 months now…she’s just a little princess. She likes everything…Dora the Explorer, Winnie the Pooh, Sesame Street, Cinderella…she’s too little to have favorites I guess. She’s wearing size 24 mos. Or 2T.

Thank you and God bless."

:: ashli 11:58 PM # ::
...

A big giant THANK YOU to the anonymous donor who spurred on action from three more tender-hearted readers who wrote to say that they would send Diane's grieving husband and small children something in the mail this Christmas.

I am grateful to those who are donating to "Diane's fund". You are priceless. May you be deeply blessed.

Love,
Ashli

:: ashli 6:42 PM # ::
...

It's Patte time...

Excerpt from a "sidewalk counselor's" journal:

Thursday, December 9, 2004
Orlando Women's Center
Late Term Abortion Day

"At 8:00 a.m. an Asian woman in her early twenties and wearing pajamas came stumbling toward the clinic door, clutching her pregnant belly. "Connie" was obviously in active labor. The door was locked because the abortion clinic doesn't officially open until 9 a.m. Connie couldn't catch her breath. This was her first baby. She was just 19 weeks, about half way through pregnancy. Pregnant at Christmastime. A Christmas baby. Her first child.

The baby Connie is carrying is already about 6 inches long. He has been kicking and stretching inside his mother. Connie feels his little feet like butterflies wings beating in her womb. She wants him dead. I hold a model of a 20 week baby in my hands. Just like Connie's infant.

Connie is going to deliver her little child. The abortion clinic workers know that the baby will be born alive so they will make Connie deliver the little one into the toilet. Although Connie's Christmas baby will be delivered too early to survive, his heart will probably be beating when he is born. The medical assistant will leave Connie's infant in the toilet until he drowns. They will make sure he is dead before they take him out of the toilet and put him in the medical waste container. The man from Stericycle will then come and collect Connie's baby's body along with all the other aborted babies. They will all be burned like garbage.

Connie never had a baby before. She wasn't prepared for the strong contractions of a labor-and-delivery abortion. Connie fell to the grass in front of the clinic in a heap and just lay there with her eyes closed and her hands between her legs. I encouraged Connie to allow me to take her to a local hospital to try and stop her labor. She refused and remained there on her side in the grass, silent, getting all wet from the morning dew. Connie chose this. She paid $1200 for this experience.

We offered Connie a chair and a blanket. Her friend "Daniel" had brought her to kill her baby. He didn't know what to do. We told Daniel that he must take her to the hospital. He shook his head saying, "It's her choice." Connie just lay there, still and silent, on the clinic lawn. Minutes went by. I got out my video camera. I filmed the pitiful, awful, haunting scene so that the truth of what happens at Orlando Women's Center can be seen and heard.

I remember seeing the Holocaust documentary"Night and Fog" when I was in high school. As horrible as it was, I was thankful that someone went to the trouble of recording the genocide.

A few years ago a woman actually gave birth on the lawn outside Pendergraft's abortion clinic in Tampa. She had been given the pills to induce her labor and was told to come back in the morning to deliver her baby inside the clinic. She didn't make it. She delivered outside the front door. After the mom delivered her tiny aborted infant, she placed the baby in a brown paper bag and waited at the door for the clinic to open. The baby was dead inside the bag when the first clinic worker arrived and opened the door. Chilling.

At 8:30 a.m. I called 911. By the time paramedics arrived five minutes later the head adminstrator of Orlando Women's Center had come and brought Mother inside through the back door to deliver her very first baby at 19 weeks gestation. Was her baby alive? Did the poor little fellow struggle to breathe? Did he drown in the toilet at 1103 Lucerne Terrace today? What happened to "Baby Christmas"?

Six other women walked into the clinic with blankets and pillow and goodies to labor and deliver and abort their late term infants 16 days before Christmas in Orlando. How many more women will arrive for abortions later today, tomorrow and the next day? Orlando Women's Center commits abortions seven days a week. What an incredible shame on Orlando. What kind of a place is this?"

:: ashli 6:10 PM # ::
...

More from Patte, the "sidewalk counselor":

"I reach out to abortion-bound girls and women at the #1 late-term (third trimester) abortion clinic in the state of Florida called Orlando Women's Center. They murder children through all nine months of pregnancy.

Beginning at around 16 weeks gestation the clinic uses the method known as "labor-and-delivery" to commit the abortion. The abortion staff simply induces the pregnant woman's labor (with Cytotec pills) and the baby is delivered inside the abortion clinic from 6-36 hours later. We have many first-hand reports, from patients and abortion clinic workers, that about 1/3 of these infants are "born" alive and left to die.

Most of these abortions themselves fall under the category of "legal" but it is illegal to fail to provide medical treatment when an infant survives abortion. Although I KNOW that they are NOT providing medical care for these infants, I have failed in all of my MANY efforts to have any charges brought against the abortion clinic.

I believe that the average citizen of Florida, and indeed, America, would be shocked and outraged if they were to find out about these labor-and-delivery abortions that are committed against viable infants. I have spent many, many years trying to educate the church and the general public, and I am sad to say that I have failed to persuade anyone to stand up and do anything about this.

I now have the medical records of a woman named C.H. who went to abort her baby at 22.3 weeks gestation at Orlando Women's Center (owned by notorious felon and abortionist James Scott Pendergraft) on 11/15/01 . The notes by abortion staff in C.H.'s medical record reveal that she became "upset" that her labor contractions caused her "pain" and with the fact that the abortion clinic wouldn't give her pain medication. When she was in hard labor C.H. left the abortion clinic. Her dear little baby was born ALIVE at a local hospital. C.H. kept her baby and has been raising her ever since then.

The "aborted" child is now three years old and C.H. is suing the abortion clinic and James Pendergraft and the other abortionist (who was on call that evening) hoping that they will be financially responsible for some of the care required for her special needs child. (The whole thing is so sick and twisted.)

The lawsuit was filed inOrange County Civil Court here in Orlando on 5/25/04. The case number is04CA-1202. Would you be willing to bring the law suit up before your church and everyone you know? The point is to TALK about late term abortions of viable infants (40-50 % of babies at 23 weeks gestation now survive) and how they are performed here in Orlando. I am certain that folks do not know the details of how these second and third trimester abortions are performed and that they are "routine". (We witnessed seven women going into have these abortions at Orlando Women's Center yesterday.)

I'd beglad to fax you C.H.'s medical records so you can see them for yourself.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is forgood men to do nothing. -Edmund Burke

Have nothing to do with the unfruitful deeds of darkness but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11

Talk, talk, talk about late term abortion. Exposing it is the right thing to do. If you know someone of influence who is willing to expose late term abortion, PLEASE pass that info along to me."

:: ashli 6:02 PM # ::
...

YeeeeeeeeeeeeHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

:: ashli 5:41 AM # ::
...

This just in (regarding Diane's widower and small children):

An anonymous donor will match any pledge on a four-to-one basis, up to a total of $200.

For example, if I can get another five people to send $10 each to Diane's grieving husband and children ($50 total), the donor will send $200 (4 x$50 = $200). A smaller amount... like say... eight people pledging to send $5 each, a $40 total, would draw $160 from the donor. Get it?

The deadline is December 20.

Dig deep.

:: ashli 2:52 PM # ::
...

From a family member re: Diane's children and widower:

"They are just getting through one day at a time right now. Please pray for Robbie, as he seems to be very confused about what to do next, with his job, his children, etc. He needs direction and wisdom way beyond his years."

:: ashli 11:58 AM # ::
...

OK, I have had three, count 'em, three people email me and say they were going to send something to Diane's (deceased cancer mom) family, so I suppose the boycott is off and I can post again. Recently, I've had over 300 hits in one day, so I won't hide the fact that I wish more than three people had written to say that they were going to send something to this family, but alas... three dear individuals, including the generous, compassionate atheist, will have to suffice. (May God bless you three richly in heart and spirit. May He seep into the atheist's tough skin, overwhelming him completely. May you three find tremendous satisfaction in your gift/card/prayers for this precious family.)

This is the last thing I will say about it (I think)...

It only costs 37 cents for a stamp. It only takes 15 minutes to jot down a caring note. It takes nearly nothing to be an evolved species, and Christians in particular have no excuse for not reaching out to others, especially to a young, grieving minister whose twenty-something wife just died heroically and left him with two small children and no idea what to do next.

End of subject.

Moving right along...

Keeping it "safe and legal" doesn't keep it safe or legal.

:: ashli 11:23 AM # ::
...

Things are sad lately. Too sad. And no one (save for that confounded atheist) is writing me to say that they are going to send Robbie or Diane's kids anything for Christmas. I prefer to delude myself into believing that all the lovelies who wrote me eons ago asking for the address... have held onto that information and are just bypassing me to send their cards, gifts, thoughts, prayers, etc. But If that ISN'T the case... I think I'm going to boycott my own blog.

Don't MAKE me boycott my own blog, people!!!
Ohhh, I have GOT a computer, and I'm not afraid to NOT use it!!!

Sure there are a lot of good, gooooood causes. But tell me this one doesn't just reach right in and twang on your viscera. Tell me you don't feel encouraged, inspired and yet sick to your stomach when you think of the whole ordeal. Tell me that if you were in Robbie's situation right now you wouldn't care if people forgot about you because they were too busy with Christmas decorations and tinkling donations of leftover pocket change in Salvation Army storefront kettles like good little seasonal givers.

There is just no way I am willing to accept the wide circulation of the sappy Christmas shoes urban legend while this very real situation ebbs into the field of the unnoticed. TELL ME I AM MAKING YOU FEEL HELPLESSLY COMPELLED TO SNAILMAIL THIS FAMILY SOME SORT OF COMPASSIONATE MOMENTO!!!

sigh...

(end of rant.)

Now, I know you decent people will not let me down in my concern. So, to reward you in advance, I will print an hilarious email I received from one of my very favorite readers re: the choicesters post. Here 'tis:

"God, does the pandering to dumbass teenagers ever stop? What a stupid name.
'Hi, my name's Chelsea. I'm a choicester!' 'Hi, my name's Sienna. I'm a hamster! We're the next generation of American leadership! Wanna place your children's future in our hands?'

No thanks.

I give you credit for having the stomach to read that stuff. I personally cannot stand to be bombarded with that level and concentration of ignorance, stupidity, self-deception, and wanton cruelty. I know it's out there, but like pornography, snuff films, and videotapes of hostages being beheaded in Iraq, I just prefer not to see it."

:: ashli 2:43 PM # ::
...

Wow, man. I just remembered that this blog actually has an email account, so I uh... checked it.
Over 40 emails (thirty-nine and a half from Annie Banani alone! ;-). People actually read this blog. And here I've been feeling like one of those midnight writers... a 2 a.m. ham radio operator with one frequency hit per blue moon.

So I'm sorry for not responding. I haven't been arrogantly untouchable. I haven't even been too busy (although I'm lucky I get a bath or two each month what with two "churrin", homeschooling, organic coop, holidays, weddings, etc.) . I've just been... dum-buh.

I wasn't going to post tonight, today, this morning... whatever the heck it is at 1:25 a.m. I am still reeling from the death of the mother with cancer. It's one more bad dream I'm trying to wake up from. Like a clockwork mouse I'll bump into the wall a little while longer before I accept the reality of it. It sucks, and I didn't do enough. Who among us did? (Aside from that one atheist dude who kept donating ungodly amounts.)

The mother's kids are still around, it's Christmas soon, her husband is up to his eyeballs in grief, painful explainations and medical debt. I've still got their address. Let's take at least some of the weight off his shoulders. We've asked our church, for instance, if they will repackage our tithe this week and send it to Robbie in a neat little check. That's one idea. It's one way to remain anonymous. It's one way to allot funds we really don't have. Would that work for you? Email me for the address. I promise to check my messages daily.

Sigh... she was in her twenties. Her TWENTIES. Have you seen the pictures? It's a requirement.

I'm sure some abortion supporter is going to take this case and run with it. That's too bad. Despite what it might obviously look like, that's not the message. Diane's death encourages me even more. She died for this, folks. And yes, I know that cancer killed her, that it was not necessarily carrying her child to term that ended her life. But she was not willing to fight for her life at her daughter's expense. No... not that way.

She was willing
if that's what it took
to die for her faith
and for her child
and she did.
That means everything
doesn't it?

The Most Beautiful Photo In The World...

Diane defiantly nurses her daughter with her
remaining breast. She will lose this breast too
but continues to nurse until that time. She will lose
her life as well, but continues to love until that time.
Please view the photos.

:: ashli 1:14 AM # ::
...

I got an email today... the mom with cancer died this morning. A relative was holding her hand and reading to her from Psalms. Her children, including the one she refused to kill and gave her very life for, do not understand.

I'm really not ok with this.
I wanted the happy ending.
I wanted it on my terms.
I wanted it now.
Right now.
N-O-W.

Once again, I didn't get what I wanted.
I'd throw a tantrum if it would help.
But it wouldn't, so instead I slump in my chair and cry.

No matter what...
no matter what
Mother made the right choice.
The beauty and honor of it bring me to my knees.

A healthy child will live and love and laugh
because Mother loved
in truth and selflessness.
Mother loved
like a lion
a lion gone
to be with the Lamb.

This Christmas please remember the grieving children of a mother who was too good for this world.

(Click on "index".)

:: ashli 4:08 PM # ::
...

It's Patte time!

Sidewalk Talk:

"Tuesday, 23 November, 2004
(Late Abortion Day)

*"Johan" arrived at 8:15 a.m. Her rounded belly rose out from below her t-shirt, revealing a belly ring. She told me that she was seventeen weeks pregnant with her very first child and didn't want to have "it". I explained to Johan tha tshe would be having her baby. Abortion at seventeen weeks is childbirth. "You will push your little child's body out, Johan. You will see her face, feel her body slither out of yours." She assured me: "No, I won't see, because htey will take the baby away. I won't have to look." Johan went on to say, "I've already prayed about this." Sje reasoned, "This baby will go right to God. Everything will be fine. I amy not go to heaven, but my baby will." When I told Johan that she needed to fear God more than her circumstances she smiled and said, "I'm not afraid of God." I invited Johan into the mobile unit to have a free ultrasound. She refused saying, "Oh, no. I don't want to see it." When I tried to show Johan the photo of aborted infant Little Mary, Johan quickly looked away. "No, don't show me that." As she walked into the abortion clinic Johan said, "Just pray for me now. You do that."

*"Precious" came walking by with her children: Nicodemus (4) and Alana (3). I introduced myself and discovered that although Precious was not heading into the abortion clinic, she was considering abortion. I invited Precious to have a free ultrasound while we watched her two sweet kids outside. Mark was able to get a very good picture of the infant because Precious is about thirty-four weeks pregnant.

*When "Maria" told her husband that she was eight weeks pregnant he quickly instructed her to "get rid of it". With five children back in Mexico (that Maria has been sending $300/month to) she couldn't imagine having another one. We were praying hard for Maria to soften to the reality of her child. I reached out to her saying in Spanish: "God forbids the shedding of innocent blood," and "Abortion is a mortal sin." I also told her, "Your child is a gift from God." Maria nodded and replied "Si." Marilsa from A Chosen Child adoption Agency spoke with Maria on my cell phone. Maria was insistent: "No adoption." After several more minutes of serious counseling, admonition and pledges to help her, Maria kissed me! She looked into my eyes and said, "Gracias." Maria realized that killing her baby was the wrong choice! We are helping to reunite her with her children in Mexico and we are providing her with medical care.

Pray for the women we met today who are laboring and delivering their aborted babies at Orlando Women's Center as you read this."

For those who don't know, Orlando Women's Center is where my husband and I aborted our first child, due to maternal health issues, in a late-term, second-trimester abortion. It was the wrong choice.

:: ashli 4:28 PM # ::
...

Remember the mom with breast cancer? The mom that doctors advised to abort her daughter at 5 months? She had a breast removed during pregnancy but not her baby. For a while, it was looking good for this young mother. But, as is often the case with cancer, it has come back with a vengeance. Things are pretty bleak.

I want to reiterate that there is no indication that this mother would have survived cancer-free if she had aborted. I have read plenty of medical studies where physicians advised late term abortions for maternal cancer, and plenty of those mothers aborted only to die any way. I realize the moms were frantically trying to survive, but I think it would have been better for only one person to die instead of two. The thing is... doctors can't really offer certain stakes. It's all hypothetical. Life or death with maternal disease of this caliber? Sometimes. Sometimes not.

I personally know a mom who was given pretty daunting odds unless she aborted her baby. She had breast cancer and chose NOT to abort. She and her baby are fine today. She is 100% cancer-free. That isn't to say that a year from now her cancer won't come back and kill her. Cancer is nasty. It doesn't play fair. And doctors don't know everything. So sick moms are left to make a choice that they may or may not really have to make. What's a mother to do?

Oh you hear moms say, all the time, that they would "die" for their children. It's so cliche; the weakest of all weak things is virtue untested by fire. But moms who put their money where their mouth is, moms who don't kill their children to save their own hides... well these moms are too good for this world.

I'm not trying to attack sick moms who have aborted. I have a pretty nasty pregnancy related maternal illness myself. Death has been a real consideration at times. One good staph infection in your PICC line is really all it takes, and I had that. Treatments can be risky, but you have to have them.

I've not had cancer in pregnancy, but I understand, at least, scared moms who are sick of suffering and don't want to die. Believe me, I do. I've been one of them, and I've sacrificed a child's life in the second trimester because of suffering and fear. But I have also suffered and been afraid for my life and not sacrificed a child, and by far that was the more admirable, more compassionate, more right thing to do... no matter my own personal outcome. I can understand abortion for maternal health reasons, but I don't regard it as honorable.

My husband and I were pondering hyperemesis gravidarum last night and marveling at how the mother suffers and depletes until she resembles, nutritionally, a dried piece of chicken jerky... but the child takes what she needs and is healthy as a plum.

Evidently, when there is a problem, nature dictates that the child's needs come first and that it is the mother who must sacrifice. In studies where moms developed such truly, imminently life-threatening complications such as Wernicke's encephalopathy, the baby often died (followed by the mother if not treated). So in cases where Mom is down to the wire... it seems only then is nature willing to give the child up in a last ditch effort to give the mother a fighting chance. The body may be generally more certain (than a physician) in the knowledge that it is dying; physicians may give up too soon.

I'm no medical professional. I realize there may be other instances where the child's health is "naturally" sacrificed before the mother's in high risk pregnancies. I simply don't know of them. Email me if you have something real to offer on the subject. I'm curious to ponder it.

Anyway... I've veered waaay off the path of the original post intent. It's a sad and fascinating subject.

I really only wrote to introduce the mom with cancer, the one that many of us have been praying for, the one that many of us sent donations and gifts to, the mom who did not abort her daughter to save her own skin, the mom who is too good for this world...

She is not doing well
BUT
She made a courageous choice of honor that saved her daughter's life
AND
She is not sorry.

Here is her picture (notice her two crowning glories):



For those that attend prayer groups, please oh please print out this image and share it. If any want to send Mom or her children anything, please let me know, and I will help you make arrangements.

:: ashli 9:49 AM # ::
...

More excerpts from the journal of a "sidewalk counselor":

"Thursday, Nov. 17, 2004
Donna & Ralph, a power couple, arrived in their brand new Mercedes SUV. They walked into the clinic carrying the tell-tale comfort items associated with late-term abortion: a blanket, a pillow and refreshments for the long, dark night of delivering their dead, aborted infant. Donna wouldn't respond to our offers of help, answer our questions or take our information packet.

Saturday, Nov. 20, 2004
Delores shouted, 'If you can't afford it, get rid of it, b*#ch!' Her friend Lindy (the mom aborting) said: 'It costs a million dollars to raise a child!' I told Lindy that adoption was free."

Obviously Donna and Ralph were financially destitute and "needed" to abort their child in order to avoid starving to death.

And poor Lindy sounds like she came straight from Planned Parenthood with her million-dollar quote.

Ever wonder where that type of notion originates or how it breaks down? Go here.

Someone should have told Lindy that often times less is more and that a dry crust of bread eaten in peace is better than a feast eaten in strife. And if a gal has a functioning conscience, killing her own child can be a little on the perpetually stressful side.

:: ashli 2:24 PM # ::
...

In the id skid of the century a spokeswoman for the Planned Parenthood Mid-Michigan Alliance refers to pregnancy termination as "a tragedy".

The whole article is really BEE-zarre. Apparently, a 16-year-old girl and her boyfriend participated in a do-it-yourself abortion via several purposefully-aimed baseball bat whacks to the stomach. This made for an interesting womb environment and eventually caused the intended "miscarriage".

Now, it seems, there is some legal question about the child's death. Was it murder? Michigan law considers whether the child was quick or not. Roe v. Wade defined a quick child as one at 16-18 weeks. Some Webster definitions for "quick" or "quickening" are: alive, pregnant, speedy and able to cause detectable movement in the womb.

We all know that a gestating child is alive before 16-18 weeks, is not pregnant and is not particularly speedy. So Roe v. Wade legislators must have been referring to detectable movement "quickening". But I felt Elise move at 13 weeks. Mind you, I was on tube feedings and was skin and bones, but I FELT her move and that satisfies the definition of a quick child. Of course, she was moving way before that as was detected by sonogram.

So does "quick" mean "detected by maternal nerve endings" or "detected by sonogram"? Could it be that 16-18 weeks is just some arbitrary number some malevolent ignoramuses pulled out of their big fat butts? Boy, I'm so glad a law that kills millions of kids and hurts millions of survivors is based so heavily on well-defined, rational facts.

While I was reading this article I honestly wondered for a moment if it was a joke.

It's the new millennium. George Tiller is a red, white and blue late-term killin' machine. Hollywood is out and proudly donating to his cause. The partial birth abortion ban can't even pass when it already has. Abortion is as sacred as ever.

Am I reading the article wrong? Can people actually get in trouble for willingly killing their unborn child? I mean, if this country loves and protects abortion, then who cares? Who cares if sister-girl was 9 months along, in labor, jumped off her roof and did a belly flop onto her driveway to abort her baby? Or tied a pork chop on her abdomen and got a pack of wolves to eat through to the chewy baby center? Or got a guy to shoot poison into the baby's heart with a syringe? Or got someone to enter her womb, poke a hole in the delicate fetal skull, and Hoover out baby brains? Or got her boyfriend to hit her in the stomach with a baseball bat? Who in the legal world cares? When a mom willingly kills her gestating child, that is just legally fine and dandy in this country.

You can't have it both ways. Either it's acceptable or it's unacceptable.

Defense attorney Elizabeth Jacobs said the case obviously "would be hard to take to a jury because it shows a complete disregard for human life," and added that it sets a new standard for self-centeredness. What? How is this "obvious" in a Roe v. Wade worshipping society?

And why did a Planned Parenthood spokesperson call the termination of this pregnancy a tragedy when her own abortion business makes a killing off of the premise that no pregnancy termination is a tragedy? Is it because her organization didn't turn a profit in this case?

It can't be because abortion is cruel. After all, friends of the deceased child's family tell reporters how kind and selfless the involved parties are and how they would never hurt anybody intentionally. I guess repeatedly using his girlfriend as a pinata was an accident. Oopsie.

Maybe the PP rep's comment was in reference to maternal health.

"'Any miscarriage can have serious health ramifications', said Buccellato, the obstetrician and gynecologist."

As can any abortion. Which is why it is important for parents to be informed about surgery on their teens.

In the article the PP rep insinuates that parental consent laws caused the baseball bat tragedy. In the same breath she also talks about how teens can hide an unplanned pregnancy from parents for many months and believes that: "Teens are still kids, and if they can convince themselves [pregnancy] is not happening, they think it will go away."

Well, with that kind of clear-headedness it is no wonder the PP chick thinks a teen can handle the "hardest decision a woman ever has to make" all by herself.

Still, I don't really know what PP's beef is with parental consent. The grandparents of the battered baby helped to give the little slugger a proper Zip-Lock burial in the back yard, uh huh.

:: ashli 4:59 PM # ::
...

Sorry about the wrong link to the "choicester" profiles yesterday. This is the correct link. Go there and be dazzled by compassionate sentiments such as this one from a nurse at a military base:

"I have the right to assist in abortions and the proper, medically sound decision making process, whether cancer or fetus tissue is in discussion. Period."

(I have received "big heap" emails from hyperemetics on military bases, and they tell me the medical care is just dandy - not!)

:: ashli 12:28 AM # ::
...

Who knows what the time stamp says at the bottom of this entry. The owls are hooting outside my window, and it is nearly 2:30 A.M... again. My brain is a shriveled walnut at this point, so I will defer to a friend who sent this interesting tidbit:

"NARAL has formed an online group of 'Choicesters'; the 30 or so profiles of people who filled out questionnaire forms can be found here. Go to the questionnaire and you'll see that there's not much of a 'choice' in the category for the 'Politically Aware Celebrity I Resemble Most,' or in one's ability to submit a pro-choice poem (I guess they figured lengthy odes rhapsodizing about abortion might actually start seeming distasteful).

I originally found this part of NARAL's site because I was curious if they'd voiced any objection to the conviction of Scott Peterson for Conner's death. When you search on 'Peterson' you get nothing; when you search on 'Laci' you get a single reference to one of the 'Choicester' profiles objecting to 'tricks' to erode Roe v Wade by passing legislation like Laci and Conner's law."
-----------

Let me just reiterate that California has had an unborn victims of violence law on the books for as long as I can remember, and they are one of the most abortion-lovin' states in the U. S. of A. They aren't anywhere NEAR restricting abortion, and this law of theirs hasn't hurt their romance with "choice" one bit.

What the unborn victims law does do is to protect a woman's right to choose to have her baby. The "choicester" is probably a grassroots granola feminazi who hasn't been informed that in the new millennium we admit they are living human children and fill out sentimental paper hearts to tape on abortion clinic walls in lieu of actually caring. Either that or s/he is a grossly misinformed newbie.

But hey... I simply can't imagine an abortion-supporter being misinformed! Surely people who call themselves "choicesters" are grand examples of reason and intellect, realize what is at stake if they are wrong, and live life as I do, with information on the subject spilling out of every shoebox and file folder existing in the home.

P. S.
I noticed that the gift shop sells a t-shirt that says: "It's your choice, not theirs!" Propaganda. Phermones in the air for a stinging swarm of yellow jackets. They know this message is one of "Our team against yours, you right-infringing religious zealots! And we're going to win!" Do people still fall for this? I guess they do. I mean, I've read the comments, and I acknowledge America's passion for Monday night football.

But really, if the "choicesters" were genuine (or in the very least, smarter) wouldn't their message be more compassionately attractive? Wouldn't their shirts say: "Abortion: A Necessary Sorrow."? It would be a big fat lie of course, but more appealing... like, for instance, the word "choice".

(And for any abortion-supporters who want to steal my t-shirt idea, be forewarned: we'll just spoof your shirt with our own, which will say: "Abortion: Unnecessary Sorrow." And then we'll snap pictures of you attempting to somehow violate our right to choose to wear our t-shirt. But don't worry. Your "team" owns the media, so no one will ever know.)

I'm talking about t-shirts. I HAVE to go to bed.

:: ashli 1:43 AM # ::
...

My son knocked a pretty gnarly scab off of his ankle while we were at the park hanging out with other conservative hippies who are in total denial about being hippies. He sat on the ground rocking back and forth in a panic and apparently speaking in tongues as blood gushed from his surprisingly vascular wound. He was inconsolable and incoherent as I tried to communicate to him that everything would be all right.

Finally, in bad mother form, I threw my hands up in the air and walked away curtly declaring, "I can't help you when you are like this!" He relented and removed his hand from the crimson-flowing booboo. I recovered it with the Squidward glow-in-the-dark adhesive bandage (purchased prior to receiving the boycott info on BandAid) and told him it was no big deal and to go play.

He reaffirmed his belief that this was indeed a life or death issue despite my consolation, and I gave him the option of leaving his friends, going home, cleaning up the wound, smothering it in salve, rebandaging it, and having him rest in the bed for a few hours while we bit our lips waiting to see if he would survive. Evidently, the power of God was upon him and a miraculous healing occurred, for he was instantly better and off like a shot to rejoin the merciless playground beatings of kindergarteners with sticks.

Later that night while filling the washer with a load of whites something just missed the basin and tumbled to the floor. Ah, a sock grenade. Unfurling it I notice the dark garnet patches of soaked and dried blood. At once tunnel vision. At once sucked through the vacuum of time. An emotional "out of body" experience, I see myself holding the socks I wore to the abortion clinic to abort my second trimester child. To kill, ladies and gentlemen, my precious, healthy little girl or little boy. The socks are covered in mother-child blood, the last time we would touch.

Oh I wanted to throw them away like everything, EVERYTHING else... but somehow, my hand held over the trash would not release. Instead I buried them. But not deep enough, because nearly 8 years later here it is; my dirty laundry roaring back.

Several times lately I am realizing in small snippets of stripped reality that um... I killed my child. That it really happened, and that it really was my little boy or little girl. A person. My person. My squishy little cooing fat puff... like the other fat puffs who've issued forth from my flesh.

Yikes. I like to stay back a little. I mean, I'm in it... I get close enough to feel the heat... but usually I blow a fuse before the emotional surge singes fur and skin off. But no. No buffer lately. Raw electricity of love eviscerated and lost. But it's that time, isn't it? I found out I was pregnant with my doomed li'l belly buddy the day after Thanksgiving. I'm too busy to rent space to this right now, but there you are. My psychic VW sits booted on the curb, and there's still Christmas shopping to do; I ain't goin' nowhere. It's a brick and I'm drowning slowly.

The cherry on top is the ensuing dream... I keep having these babies. Over and over I have them. They crawl out of me like joeys. They are all around 15 weeks of course. I'm Katy No-Pocket, defective and scrambling. Instead the thing to do is to sandwich each baby between a warm, white towel and hope for the best. In the dream this makes sense. In the dream this is an effective way to incubate a baby. But I am careless. I leave the towels on the floor where the babies are trod on. They are squished in half. Weeping swollen silver tears, I remove the outer layers of towel and peer in at the broken bodies. I resolve to try again, but I am never careful. Each child comes to ruin. Each life mangled and spent. I cry and cry and can not for the life of me understand why I keep making the same mistake over and over again when I care so much for the children I endanger and spoil.

I wake up and realize it's the same child. It's always the same child. My first, my heart's confection. What the world calls nothing is everything to me. It never ends. It's the perpetual loss of Tennessee.

:: ashli 12:39 AM # ::
...

How To Make Abortion Go Up In Smoke

Apparently our government wants smoking to decline to 12% of the population instead of 22%. How, you may ask, do they propose to make smoking rare? Utah, the only state to meet the goal, holds a clue or two:

1. strong social prohibitions
2. ban it in some places
3. hike up the price

Though America seems to be lagging behind its goal of making smoking rare, since 1998 the rate has steadily dropped. The CDC attributes the decline to:

1. media campaigns against smoking
2. banning the practice in some areas
3. hiking up the price
4. providing positive alternatives (insurance coverage for kick-the-habit-programs)

I read over this issue, and I have questions. Why is the government so concerned with smoking? First of all, it's bad for the body of the smoker. Smokers get sick and die, and that costs money, makes them sad, and can make others sad. Next, secondhand smoke disturbs others, threatens their health and causes, on occasion, life-threatening asthma attacks in children. So it's a good idea to ban smoking in places where others, who do not choose to smoke, would otherwise be exposed to it.

I am aware that some people feel that they need to smoke. My uncle, an alcoholic, feels that smoking helps him not to drink, a worse habit. He also feels that it relieves a tremendous amount of stress. He knows it's not good for him, but feels that life would be much worse without it and so it's worth the risk. Still the government dissuades him.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

There's much talk of "common ground" between liberals who are for abortion and conservatives who are not. In the midst of the bickering, there seems to be a consensus that abortion should at least be reduced. After all, abortion supporters are quick to remind, abortion is not a happy thing or even a good thing, but a necessary thing, so they are supposedly all for making it rare. So, abortion supporters, I appeal to you to follow the model the country is using to make smoking rare. That way, we all get what we want.

First, let's begin a public campaign against abortion. Newspapers, TV, radio, etc., should all be blitzed with the message that abortion is bad for women and children. Breast cancer and other abortion-related risks can be discussed along with the fact that abortion kills children.

Second, overturn Roe v. Wade. Many states will vote to ban abortion. This is OK for the abortion supporters, because they know Kerry-voting states like California and New York, to name a few, will remain open for abortion business like they did before Roe v. Wade. So, people who want to kill their children can still kill their children. Local government will just make it inconvenient.

Third, abortion should be extremely financially expensive. It wouldn't affect the affluent, but the middle class would think twice about repeat abortions, and the underprivileged might be discouraged altogether.

Finally, the government would have to provide positive alternatives to abortion. They would have to increase family and child welfare services and make them more visible/available than they are today. Where would the money for all that come from? They could take the funds from all the breast cancer cases that won't develop and won't need treating. They could pull the money from all the cancer-related funerals that won't take place. They could use the money from all the psychological appointments and associated pharmaceuticals that won't be necessary. Etc. In addition, going back to the first suggestion, the media could present the daily abortion tragedy in the same way that they presented the September 11th tragedy, and the Red Cross would be brimming with green, so much so, that they would have to stop accepting donations.

There you have it folks. The way to make abortion rare is to diss it publicly, reduce abortion access (ban it in some places and hike up the price), and increase access to better alternatives. I am 100% confident that every abortion advocate who says they want abortion to be rare will support these measures... unless, of course, they're lying.

:: ashli 2:49 PM # ::
...

You really MUST go here and read the comments, but please eat before you do, because it will be a while before you can scrape your stomach off the floor.

I think the comments are good for folks like us to take a gander at, because this does two things:

1. gives us an opportunity to exercise our well-thought out position before dealing with tragically misguided human beings henceforth
2. helps us to understand that these folks care about women and children but in a criminally wrong and hurtful way (i.e., it's perfectly healthy for women to kill their gestating children, and the children of a woman whose situation is bad enough to "warrant" abortion are better off dead anyway.)

It's a twisted, twisted world, my friends, and abortion supporters take logic to new lows daily. We who genuinely care in healthy ways are not accustomed to the highly unresearched opinions of those who are more interested in defending a position than exposing (and being exposed to) the truth.

It is difficult for me, former 25-year "pro-choice" fanatic, to subject myself to those (many of whom have not lost a child) who tell me that I don't care about women and want them to die. Yet I find that I must stay current, that I must understand what is going on in the minds of a particular subset of men (and women). And after recently opening a comment laden Pandora's Box I must confess that the answer remains:

very little.

:: ashli 12:44 PM # ::
...

1 passed. I can't believe over 2 million Floridians voted against it. Sickening. However, I do know that some of my abortion-opposing friends didn't understand the language and called me to inquire after it. They thought the judicial bypass exception meant they shouldn't vote for it... because they didn't want their daughters to have that option. You almost have to be a lawyer to read this stuff. Still, I am not confident that most of the people who voted against it misunderstood it.

"This law allows parents to put their arms around their daughters and say ‘we love you, we can work this out together,'" Roberts said.

Roberts' daughter underwent an abortion in 1987 at the age of 14. Her daughter suffered physical and emotional consequences from a botched legal in Virginia. Roberts and her husband were forced to spend $27,000 to provide medical care for her."

Over 2 million Floridians are nuts.

:: ashli 8:51 AM # ::
...

Where have I been this last week? Why no blog? 4 more years and not a peep from the raving anti-abortionist? What is up with me?

Ugh.

In-law troubles. Hijacks my attention. Grrr.

Lemme vent. Lemme try and sort things out on pixel. Maybe I will learn something about myself, my feelings and what my response should be.

Get some hot chocolate. Pull up a chair. Settle in. Here we go.

On my husband's birthday we went to the in-law's. I left early to get the children to bed on time. Hubby stayed to chat for five minutes in the yard. Evidently minutes turned into over an hour of Ashli Bashing. This is a sport for which my uber "religious" in-laws are zealous. "Happy birthday, Son. Over an hour of defending your wife."

Bringing up abortion and the disdain for my activism (which hasn't been so active lately), this Kerry-voting Mom and Dad informed their son that abortion is a woman's choice between her doctor and "her god". The son tried to educate the parents on the second-trimester loss of their grandchild. He reminded them of my incompetent cervix (and resulting bedrest I most recently endured) and told them about my lingering emotional distress and nightmares. They said there's no proof that my incompetent cervix was caused by the second-trimester, non-laminaria, "5-minute" abortion and that as far as my hurt feelings are concerned, I need to read a self-help book and get over it already.

Planned parenthood, NARAL, and NOW would be proud. Perhaps when my father-in-law retires he can move to Kansas and get a cush job "blessing" the aborted babies and revearing "choice" at George Tiller's fine infant-murdering establishment.

Lest we forget what my father-in-law, the preacher, is unaware of:
the man has more aborted grandchildren than living grandchildren.
(His youngest daughter has aborted two of her children.)

My husband reminded the "man of god" who raised him, "When Ashli was suffering in the hospital, you sat by her bed and told her that she could abort, everyone would understand, and that she could do what she 'had to do'. If she had listened to you your granddaughter would be DEAD right now!"

My husband was compelled to confront them with his feelings of abandonment during the first pregnancy. His horrified, angry mother informed him that she "knew" I wouldn't listen to her so she just didn't say or try to do anything. "What would have been the point with someone like Ashli? It was her choice. She did it." No abandonment there.

My husband told her that everyone plays their part when a child dies in an abortion and that she couldn't blame me for her own lack of effort. (Apparently, the preacher and his wife are not inclined to consider the book of Isaiah. For those not in the know, God tells Isaiah to warn Israel of their wrong-doing and to try and persuade them to turn from their evil ways... BUT there's a catch... no one will listen. He sends the guy on a mission that Isaiah KNOWS will fail! But that's not the point. The point is, Isaiah tried. He did what he was supposed to do regardless of the black and white fact that no one would listen.)

On and on for over an hour the stinging barbs flew as my husband pleaded for his parents to love his wife, the mother of his children. The culpability always belonged to me, never to the son, the age-old perspective. Things I did or said or didn't do or say months and even years ago, came bubbling to the surface and spilling over onto the birthday boy, in the name of Jesus, amen, until finally my father-in-law's attentions turned to some aggrivator at work or down the street and what a "fool" he was... to which my husband opined, "You should pray for the man, Dad, instead of standing around idly calling him a fool."

Evidently, I'm not the only one with in-law problems. Take a gander at this. Children complicate the issue.

In the past we have noticed that our son comes back from the preacher's house with foul words on his lips (crap this, crap that, "Grandpa said it!") and violent descriptions of melting faces and beating hearts being ripped out of people's chests (Raders of the Lost Ark). They send him back thusly, without boundaries, with poor behavior, and then say it is not proper for a boy of six to even know the word "abortion". They say it should not be spoken in the presence of a child. They scold that it is not proper to know that tummy tots need protection from a thing that can wrongly threaten them. Before you agree, consider...

The in-laws think it is OK for my son to go to Sunday school and see the Master hanging on the cross, blood pouring from his head, side, hands and feet, as nails and thorns stick out graphically depicting his murder by man. It is OK to know that Jesus was born in a manger because His folks were on the run from an evil king who wanted Him dead and so killed all the boy babies. It is OK to watch the Ten Commandments and see the soldier's sword dripping with a baby's blood over his cradel as his mother clings like a deadened zombie to a nearby wall. These things are OK to the preacher because, seemingly, they are only stories that happened ages ago, and their purpose is to make us feel thankful and happy. They are removed, not dangerous. Abortion, however, is too close. It is here, it is now, it is in our family, and it carries no sweet moral that persuades us to feel good or happy or thankful. Abortion is not their issue, it should not be my issue, and it should never, never ever be an issue to my children. Not, that is, until they're old enough to understand that killing an innocent, defenseless child is a choice between a woman, her physician and "her god"... by which point, they may already know, sorrowfully, much more about abortion than I ever taught them.

Well, at least my in-laws practice what they preach. These liberals did not make of it an issue to their liberal children. Their youngest child aborted two children and their middle child lost one in a second-trimester abortion. We see the fruit non-issues bear. It is rotten and leads to sorrow and death, and we reject this for our own children. It must stop here. Right here and right now.

Visits with Grandma and Grandpa have been limited and visits alone have been eliminated entirely. Their words and actions only confirm the necessity of this. These loving parents (who never waste breath on "stubborn" people) warned their son that his children will run as far from us as they can, just as soon as they can, because we are "smothering" them. Bear in mind that his youngest daughter related that during her youth God was not really alive in her life because her preacher father followed Christ on Sunday while the rest of the week was up for grabs. She moved five hours away from her parents. The older daughter moved 3 or 4 days away. The son, my conservative, now-God-fearing husband who is "smothering" his children, is the only one that has stayed near his parents.

We are confident in Deut. 11:19-21 and Prov. 22:6. We have learned not to buy into fear, and our instruction was costly. We are done abandoning our children to a world of death. We will not strive to satisfy society's desire for them or for us. We will walk out of step. We will be set apart. This will aggrivate my in-laws until scales are removed and they can see fit to serve the Lord of their lips, the Lord of their Sundays.

And oh how we will pray, for us and for them, for no one is perfect in himself, everyone needs strength to love and obey, and coming together is the right thing to do.

:: ashli 10:12 AM # ::
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The uproar has begun!

:: ashli 10:11 AM # ::
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Telegraph refers to 10-month-old girl as "it".

:: ashli 5:19 PM # ::
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Oh, it's all well and good to profess not to support the death and emotional maiming of abortion, but I can not stress enough the importance of BEING anti-abortion.

"Let us, then be up and doing..."
Sir Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"You know these things - now do them. That is the path of blessing."
John 13:17

Voting is one simple way to actively oppose abortion. Boycotting is another relatively easy way. If enough of us make a financial statement it can make (and has made) a difference. Some of the boycotting is sacrificial. With the exception of products that are necessary for good health (particuarly prescription meds), what items are too good to let go of in the face of what abortion does to women, children and families? And besides, boycotting abortion just makes you feel good!

Buy the LDI boycott list. Imho, this is the best, most reliable list around. They will back any of their claims up in court; they research everything extensively. They also stay current, which is VERY important. I know a guy who didn't take a good job that he seriously needed because he was told they donated to PP. Unbeknownst to him they had ended the practice. That decision affected his whole family! Gotta be careful with these online lists for sure. I don't trust anyone but LDI for boycott info.

Yes, yes, I know. You have to pay for it. "A TRUE friend of the anti-abortion movement would issue this information for free!" you might say. LDI explains that they did this, but abortion supporters began sending for the list en masse and it nearly bankrupted LDI. Also, LDI began to realize that gathering accurate information was enormously expensive. They claim they can not maintain the manpower to keep the list accurate and current (phone calls, letters, publication, travel, etc.) without "asking for a donation" (read: "charging"). I don't have a problem with it. Buying the list helps me to boycott many abortion supporters including:

Johnson and Johnson (the "baby" people)
Granimals (clothing for children)
Sesame Street Vitamins (for children's health)
Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream (and other frozen treat brands that children like)
Skippy peanut butter (a standard childhood favorite)

There's another product that I wanted to list because it's just mind-blowing, but I'm only allowed to publish five. The boycott works. The list changes often and is updated quarterly. Sign up for a year for the cheapest way to stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves.

Get the full, surprising, revealing list at http://www.fightpp.org

:: ashli 7:20 AM # ::
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Extreme Makeovers...

:: ashli 4:04 PM # ::
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I know someone who had a difficult pregnancy last time around. Lots of bedrest. We'll call her "Amy". Amy's baby is almost two years old now, and Amy's in the middle of a messy divorce. It's a typical Jerry Springer situation: the husband cheated on the wife and then the wife cheated on the husband. Only... she got pregnant. D'oh!

She wants to work her marriage out, but the husband isn't having it. She doesn't have a college education or a good job or even a job at all. She's out of work, going through an unwanted divorce and pregnant with a 1-year-old in tow... and don't forget the very real possibility that this gal is going to be put on bedrest at some point in the pregnancy.

Abortion started lookin' mighty tempting. How could it not? Amy is in a fix and has been told abortion is the answer. She talked to her mother about it. Her mother, who aborted a child, didn't want to sway Amy either way but did tell her that since the abortion her body has never been the same.

Amy's best friend, who also didn't want to sway her either way, told her that she would support any decision but confided that she believed Amy wouldn't be able to live with abortion. Amy, a girl in a very difficult situation, decided that she would not abort her baby but would hang in there against all odds.

She told me, "I thought about it a lot, and I figured... if I aborted, there's a chance I could regret that someday. But if I didn't, no matter what trouble comes my way, I know that I'll never regret my child. So I decided I'd rather regret trouble because you can get out of trouble, but you can't un-abort your baby."

I was speechless. I know Harvard grads who can't figure out what this uneducated welfare mother instinctively knows. Her accuracy floored me. It occurred to me that this was not rocket science but common, common sense. I was filled with hope and encouraged by her gutsy approach. I saw, not some country bumpkin having another baby and sapping the system dry... but a woman taking responsibility for her actions, holding herself accountable, and being uncompromisingly strong. Her bottom line read: "I don't know how I'm going to do it. I just know I can." And she will.

Amy is taking on the world. She is afraid but standing her ground. Courageous! Heroic! The gal o' the hour here at the Cell! She is woman, and I'm surprised this whole county didn't hear her roar.

Hey, girl! This blog's for you!

:: ashli 8:43 AM # ::
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Evidently John Kerry thinks that cutting off limbs, ears and heads is uncool. The documentary is free, streaming video and FASCINATING. Even if you could give a rip about the upcoming election or even politics in general, the film reads as a piece straight from the History Channel. These are the personal stories of people who have been there and suffered first hand.

As they recount horrific stories of torture so excruciating that it lead them to act contrary to their will... as they speak of the disgusting reaction of the very people they were trying to protect and spare... I feet, on many levels, a certain kinship.

This isn' at all to say that aborting my child because of torture and neglect qualifies me as a Vietnam Vet. It isn't to say that being ostracized by the very women that I'm trying to protect amounts to sacrificing a body part for people who want to spit in my eye.

I simply feel something relative regarding the spirit of the suffering expressed and the indignity that has been unjustly coupled to it. And even though the liberal media tries to stifle these dear men, I am glad they have a voice in this world. God save those who do not.

:: ashli 10:38 PM # ::
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Go here and click on "Watch The Video".

The video is kind of hokey, but the morphs are really cool and make the point of how important a single life is. I wasn't really prepared for the sweet imagery at the very end. There was something haunting about watching all the children appear like that. It was a very visual way to express that whole "empty playgrounds" phenomena that Norma McCorvey (formerly "Jane Roe") talks about. Kind of made me well up a little.

I'd like to hear some cool rockers write some songs for change instead of songs for "choice". Wouldn't it be great if the Cure wrote a "pro-life" song? Instead we've got Pat Boone. God love him, but someone has GOT to update the anti-abortion image. I don't mean to offend, but aren't there any popular musicians who care about women and children properly?

:: ashli 4:51 PM # ::
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A little more on this woman...

Someone in the know writes:

"She got pregnant again, and again, testing showed that the fetus had cystic fibrosis. This time she let the baby live, because she knew how much killing her first child had hurt and how wrong it had been. So what she learned from aborting her first daughter saved her second daughter.

It all makes me wonder what kind of "counseling" she got in the first place.
Two of my friends died from CF, one at age 24, the other at 27. The 27-year-old, at the time of his death, had been the oldest CF survivor to date. Now it's not unusual at all for them to live into their 30's. My friend [name omitted] was a NICU mom -- one of the other NICU moms at that hospital was the first CF patient to have a baby after a heart/lung transplant. So what did the "counselors" tell that woman about CF? In what way did those counselors denegrate the lives of my friends, and other people like them, to scare that woman into an abortion?"

I just can't highlight this case enough. It's another boon of evidence. Here is a direct link to the very heartbreaking photos of the woman and her child. Take a good look. This kid would have more than likely lived to her 30's. Maybe longer with new technology.

She should have:

seen a sunset
tasted chocolate
smelled a puppy's breath
hugged a teddybear
laughed at a joke
blown out birthday candles
had a first kiss
danced
hummed a happy tune
experienced love.

1. She didn't have a choice.
2. No one has the right to do this.

:: ashli 9:16 AM # ::
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When A Phone Call Changes Your Life...

I'm "Downi" with this!

:: ashli 12:36 PM # ::
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I hear that Gardner is dying. I want to be sad for the man, but I know what he does and I think he's a terrible human being. Forget the Boogeyman; at night I'm scared this guy is in my closet. I am not sad for Saddam and I am not sad for Gardner. I pray for him quickly before I have time to think about what I'm saying. If I thought about it I'm not sure I could bring myself to do it. If I were the mother of a child who was killed by drugs, I don't think I would feel sad to hear that a pusher got cancer. I am the mother of a child who was killed by abortion. I feel hurt and angry about Gardner's "religious" involvement in killing children. I am trying very hard not to feel glad that someone who has hurt and deceived so many people is facing his own suffering and mortality. As I think of all the women who will die of cancer because he told them Jesus supported their choice to kill their children... well, I can not muster sorrow for his ailment. I just can't right now.

I will try again tomorrow.

:: ashli 2:29 AM # ::
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Thanks to the ar-teest who sent this.



Gardner makes quite an impression.

:: ashli 11:33 AM # ::
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Dear, dear God in heaven!!!

Take a good look at her little face; it is the face of "choice".

And this is the face of pure evil.

(Thanks to Aa.)

:: ashli 9:53 PM # ::
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Doctors are often wrong.

:: ashli 9:30 PM # ::
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I thought this article was rad. If you don't have time to read all of it, here are the bullets:

* Three out of five pregnant African-American women will abort their child.

* An estimated 1,452 African-American children are killed each day by the heinous act of abortion.

* Between 1882 and 1968, three thousand, four hundred forty-six blacks were lynched in the United States - a number surpassed in less than three days by abortion.

* Approximately one-third of all abortions are performed on black women (who only make up 12.7% of the U.S. population).

"Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured." ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"The murder of my son has shown me that what happens to any of us, anywhere in the world, had better be the business of us all." ~Mamie Bradley (Emmett Till's mother)

Tell a friend.

:: ashli 11:09 PM # ::
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Annie Ba-nanny does some myth busting at After Abortion.

:: ashli 7:49 AM # ::
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Your blood will BOIL.

(Remember: The NAF and John Kerry swing the same way on abortion. I.e., they both support partial birth abortion, neither think Conner Peterson was a person, and neither think parental consent is necessary.)

:: ashli 7:37 AM # ::
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Found in the Orlando Sentinal:
by Nancy M. Shelton
My Word Posted October 17, 2004

"I'm worried about the impact of the right-to-life issue on thepresidential election. At my parish, St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Orlando, the weekly bulletin from Oct. 3 concluded with a disturbing sidebar. The piece described a September incident in Steubenville, Ohio, when at least 500 citizens, including nuns in full habit, turned out to protest a John Kerry appearance. Some carried signs reading: "You can't be Catholic and Pro-Abortion." In addition, it's been well publicized that church leaders decreed that Catholics who vote for Kerry cannot in good conscience receive the sacrament of communion. At the risk of being labeled what our pastor calls a "delicatessen Catholic," or one who follows only the sections of holy doctrine that suit me, I disagree with the church on this issue.

There is an important distinction to be made between a pro-abortion stance and a position that supports a woman's right to choose. Voting for the candidate who is most likely to maintain the laws that preserve the legality of abortion is not the same thing as advocating abortion. The fact is, like narcotic use and prostitution, pregnancies will continue to be terminated whether or not it's legal to do so. What will be accomplished by rendering abortion illegal is that it will become more expensive, more dangerous, and more difficult to obtain. It will not cease to exist. Like so many other examples of what passes for justice in this country, the very population that is least able to afford abortion, but needs it most, will be hardest hit by rendering the practice illegal. Teenagers incapable of raising children, the uneducated and the indigent not only have no money, they have no contacts in the medical professionand no ability to travel outside the United States to a country where the practice is legal. These women, many of whom become pregnant because they're caught in the unrelenting cycle of impoverishment and ignorance, will be forced to seek back-alley remedies to end their unplanned pregnancies. Or they'll have their babies. More unwanted children will be born -- children whose lives will be characterized by the sad knowledgeof being unwelcome, children who will be plagued by hunger, inadequate housing, neglect, and physical, mental and sexual abuse, if they're not abandoned in the first place. How many more babies will be found in Dumpsters; will they be dead or alive; and which is worse?

Somehow, the seamless web of life seems less glorious when compared tothe pitiless prison of deprivation. I don't believe in abortion. I believe in God. Abortion is a medical procedure, not a spiritual creed. To be safe and reasonably obtainable, it must be administered by professionals, not criminals. Nor should politicians interfere in this most personal female decision.

Furthermore, the church ought to recognize that the legal status of abortion is a matter of secular law and trust that just because apractice is legal doesn't mean that conscientious women, Christians or otherwise, will indulge in it.

Nancy M. Shelton

(Nancy M. Shelton is the advancement writer for Rollins College in WinterPark.)"

OK, I got hung up on one single line, though there are so many more lines to get hung up on and so many good answers to these arguments pseudo-intellectual Nancy proposes. So please, please write the paper with your responses.

Uncharacteristically, I chose to respond on the religious end. There needs to be a response re: the other charges about poverty, back alley abortions, and unwantedness. Stats are always good, so you statmongers respond with numbers from other countries where abortion was outlawed, will you? I know they exist and those numbers are positively revealing, but I don't currently have time to dig them up. You sidewalk counselors write and talk about the scads of upper-middle class folks who roll up in their 2004 BMW's to abort. Etc. Write me with your letters and I'll post them. If no one writes I'll post a rant and make you all feel bad for not writing! That'll learn ya.

Here is my response:

"In an October 17 letter a professing Catholic (Nancy M. Shelton) says:

'There is an important distinction to be made between a pro-abortion stance and a position that supports a woman's right to choose.'

There may be an intellectual distinction, but there is no distinction whatsoever to the broken child at the bottom of a belljar. As a mother who traveled to Orlando to abort a child in the second trimester due to a debilitating maternal disease, I can tell you that I regret aborting and that abortion, for any reason, kills an innocent child.

In an evolved society killing children should never be an acceptable solution to our problems. Most often there are positive options but women are failed by boyfriends, parents, society and particularly religion. Instead of following Christ's example to come to the aid of our fellows, we follow the cultural example of abandoning women to abortion.

You can not follow both Christ and man. You have to make a choice. The choice is between good or evil, ethic or unethic, life or death. Professing Christians who vote for Kerry have exercised their right to choose, and that choice is anti-life and anti-Christ no matter how they spin it.

No, you can not follow Christ and endorse the abortion deaths of 4,500 American children every single day."

I didn't do a great job. I rushed it. I don't have time for this. (But how could I not have time for this?) I'm neglecting my living children even to do this much. And really... I have to go now!

:: ashli 9:42 AM # ::
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