:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

:: Sunday, December 17, 2006 ::

This is a song, written by Mark Shultz, who was adopted when he was 2-weeks-old.

It goes out to a very dear friend who could use your prayers.

:: ashli 12:52 PM # ::
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Ash to Ash...

HT: Christina

:: ashli 8:48 PM # ::
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Safe and legal... well... legal.

:: ashli 8:45 PM # ::
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I watched this program a few days ago, and forgive me for oversimplifying, but instead of taking the opportunity to vilify the 401(k) and lambaste its misuse, it looks like the main problem is that people have been given control of their finances, and a great many are not being responsible with that control.

One of the questions frequently asked of CEOs, by a highly respected 401(k)-analyzing (longitudinally) expert, is "Hey, would you put the office guy who just delivered our coffee in control of your retirement finances?" The response is, "I wouldn't let that guy touch my finances with a 10-ft pole!" The thought-provoking expert's retort is, "And yet you're forcing him to handle his own?", a reference to the elimination of the lifetime pension due to reliance on the 401(k).

The problem is that people will not project; they will not accept the sacrifice of 15%-18% of their income now in order to benefit from it 40 years down the road. They want what is coming to them NOW, so they enjoy the luxury of a working paycheck and find themselves eating cat food when they retire without dignity. Either that or they don't retire; they work until death or until illness and aged frailty take them out of the workforce thrusting them into a life of destitution... until death.

Since the lifetime pension has been 86'd and the 401(k) is being wildly misused, people are ON THEIR OWN. We OWN our finances. We have the right to choose to plan for the future. We have total control over our savings. Our finances, our choice. But SO MANY OF US ARE MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE, and it is going to create a crisis certainly individually, if not nationally.

If people can't be trusted to preserve their own future, should they really be given complete control of someone else's future? (For people with bad childhoods the past doesn't have to be a hammock; it can be a springboard. But death pretty much puts an insurmountable damper on a kid's future.)

In Florida you can choose to mismanage your finances, present and future, but it is illegal to drive without your seat belt buckled. Our government forces each and every individual to protect her own life in the event of a vehicular accident, whether each individual likes it or not. I.e, the FL government does not keep their laws off of anyone's body in FL. Here, they force your car door open, crawl up into your lap, and MAKE you draw a belt of sturdy synthetic material across your body.

Florida knows that the only person who can be trusted with a choice between wearing or not wearing a seat belt is the person who will choose to wear a seat belt. Our state created the seat belt law because, unfortunately, over the years, people have proven that they can not be trusted with a choice between life and death.

:: ashli 5:11 PM # ::
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Well, Killer Tiller's reps are now borrowing FFL's anti-abortion slogan, "Women Deserve Better," to support abortion. T'was only a matter of time.

(And btw... Hello, of course Tiller and company knew they would be criticized for wrong-doing if anyone received the records. That's what happens when you're a manufacturer of nightmares and you document the details. Not really a difficult concept.)

:: ashli 10:20 AM # ::
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Letters to God.
(And the dude is selling them on eBay. Ugh.)

:: ashli 9:27 AM # ::
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Buckle your seat belt.

:: ashli 11:18 PM # ::
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New from Lennart.

:: ashli 4:55 PM # ::
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The absolute nastiness of abortion.

:: ashli 4:51 PM # ::
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Abortion Clinic Employees Protect Yourselves!

:: ashli 4:47 PM # ::
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It's not enough to make money off of killing the children. Not when the bodies of the children can be sold for profit as well.

Update re: 20/20's expose on the practice of selling the body parts of children who died by abortion.

:: ashli 4:43 PM # ::
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Tools of the trade.

:: ashli 4:39 PM # ::
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The Piper paying.

With such strong lyrics:

"Choosing our life
over your life
meant your death..."

this seemed particularly weak:

"I never tell a woman what to do with her body..."

however followed by the "responsible":

"But if she don't love children then we can't party."

He should have said:

"I can't tell a woman what to do with her body
but if she don't love children then we can't party."

That would have made me happy, and of course, making me happy is what it's all about.
LOL!

:: ashli 5:04 PM # ::
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:: ashli 4:33 PM # ::
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My two-year-old is deathly afraid of robots ("doe-bots").
Now I know why.

:: ashli 4:21 PM # ::
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I wish that Christian, RandyAlcorn-reading Dave Ramsey had not chosen to use unplanned pregnancy in the same group as illness and disability in his new book The Total Money Makeover.

Excerpt:

"Money is a hard worker - harder than you. Money never gets sick, never gets pregnant, and is never disabled."

For instance he could have used unplanned pregnancy with the concept of being unexpectedly offered a brand new Jag for $50 when you only have $25 to your name. IMHO, that would have been a more accurate comparison.

:: ashli 11:04 AM # ::
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I find these lyrics, from avid abortion supporter Sheryl Crow, mind boggling considering her position.

Excerpt:

"You gotta talk to the one who made you
talk to the one who understands
talk to the one who gave you
all that light in your eyes
all that light in your eyes
There's no use pretendin'
you never existed
until you saw the light,
yeah..."

:: ashli 11:01 AM # ::
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The other day I chanced to view No Bigger Than a Minute. The show is flipping excellent, and Peter Dinklage, a guy who happens to live with the condition of dwarfism, is a neat, genuine dude... and a babe! (Yeah, I said it.) Near the end of the documentary, abortion is discussed, and it isn't really embraced seeing as how it targets the beautiful people in this film.

What's your point of view?

:: ashli 6:16 PM # ::
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I was under the impression that the so-called "right to privacy" was actually fabled, and yet here it is, required teaching for our little Sunshine State tots.

Click on the Social Studies bullet for 2nd grade; page 4, 10th bullet under "Government and the Citizen (Civics and Government)."

:: ashli 2:00 PM # ::
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Forced, illegal abortion.

:: ashli 5:54 PM # ::
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Brave New World where tykes are trash.

:: ashli 6:38 PM # ::
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Excerpt from an email I received:

"Did you know that it is a violation of federal law in America to destroy the egg of a bald eagle? A person will be sent to prison for messing with an eagle.

'... try to tell a federal judge that 'this eagle's egg' that you just broke deliberately would not have grown into an eagle.'
~ Attorney Richard Collier of New Jersey"

:: ashli 6:34 PM # ::
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Serial Hero of 9/11

:: ashli 2:54 PM # ::
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Just in case you missed it, here is the outcome of the crisis pregnancy. Please ignore all the wonderful comments about me. I appreciate the support so much, because it was a rough, rough time; I needed encouragement. However, it's embarrassing to think of myself as some sort of "hero." I'm not. I killed my child for corn's sake. I'm lost in the world like everyone else. But sometimes an opportunity comes along that needs a pair of warm hands. I look down and see that I have two. I did my best. It wasn't always good enough. I loved, hated, laughed, cried, helped, hurt, survived. The pregnancy wasn't an easy endeavor for anyone, and the fallout is pain on a stick. But her life was worth it.

She lived and is beautiful and is always on my mind. May she be blessed today and always.

I thank the One from Whom she came.

:: ashli 4:55 PM # ::
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Cool. Now someone do it again, but this time wear the same outfit every time (and the same hairstyle).

Thanks, JD!
:-)

:: ashli 11:02 PM # ::
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Dude, if Pluto has been declassified as a planet for the entire galaxy, then I KNOW we can reclassify gestating humans as persons for America.

:: ashli 11:45 PM # ::
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Oh yeah, the law shut 'em down. Not.

:: ashli 9:34 AM # ::
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We live in a society where the idea of an unplanned pregnancy is so horrific that this is considered "funny". Sigh...

:: ashli 5:28 PM # ::
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Mine and Angele's "professional of 'choice'" in trouble again.

I'm thinkin... 48 hours and ol' Pendy will be back in business.

After all, it IS abortion.

:: ashli 4:48 PM # ::
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Thinking of you today on your 9th due date. What I wouldn't give to hold you just once. To smooth your hair and say I love you now that I know what love means. You left your mark on my life, and I certainly left my mark on yours. I'm sorry, Love. Sorrier than words can say. What I wouldn't give...

:: ashli 9:17 PM # ::
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I never seen you looking so bad my funky one
You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone

Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times

Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you

Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
Any major dude will tell you.

~Steely Dan

:: ashli 9:16 AM # ::
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I know I'm not posting a lot lately. Something BIG is going on here, and I'm not at liberty to talk about it right now. I don't know if I ever will discuss it here. It's something I will have to mull over very seriously, and it will take much consultation and sensitivity.

Look up "cryptic" in the dictionary and this blog entry will appear!

:: ashli 10:58 PM # ::
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Got this in the ol' email today. Once you sign it they will ask you if you would like to receive email newsletters from a variety of "respected" organizations. NARAL is one of them of course. Sheesh.

:: ashli 10:57 PM # ::
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The man who partnered with me to kill my child.
My heart, his hands.

:: ashli 10:52 AM # ::
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The Cell blows pro-life kisses to these courageous guys.

:: ashli 2:38 PM # ::
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You've got to know when to hold 'em.

:: ashli 12:53 PM # ::
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Remembering Rowan on the first anniversary of his death...

(Please pray for his mother today.)

:: ashli 5:18 AM # ::
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Perhaps the ugliest pictures ever taken of me.
(Don't tell George Carlin!)

:: ashli 4:43 PM # ::
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2-1=abortion

:: ashli 1:28 PM # ::
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Just plain weird.

:: ashli 10:39 AM # ::
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Human rights abuses in Korea akin to WWII atrocities. The horror, THE HORROR!

:: ashli 3:14 PM # ::
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Anti-choice pro-"choicers".

:: ashli 9:16 AM # ::
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I used to do this monologue for try-outs in theatre. It always knocked 'em dead. Yessir, got many a part with this little gem. Only, I didn't know what I was talking about. Now that I've been "Dusted and Cleaned" it's an entirely different subject, isn't it.

From:
The Summer They Stopped Making Ludes
or How Taking Peyote Turned Me Into A Coyote
by Steven Tanenbaum

Poolside, suburbia - 1970's - Eve (17-20)

When Monique and Eve share memories of their adolescent sexual exploits, Eve reveals that she was pregnant when she was 13.

Eve: I never told anybody. I was only htirteen. Yeah, I'm thirteen years old and I've got to visit the gynecologist so some fat, bald guy can stick his pudgy fingers inside me. The guy fits me for an IUD so I won't ever have to worry again. Right. Next thing I know, I'm in the hospital for a D and C. I'm thirteen years old so what the hell do I know from those kind of things. Like what's a D and C - "Dusting and Cleaning." Yea, "Dusting and Cleaning," I recommend that every woman have her uterine walls scrubbed clean with a scouring pad. Okay, so they put me on the pill whch was great until I became so bloated I started to resemble Marlon Brando in the Godfather - mustache included. So they take me off the pill and give me a diaphragm. A device that was invented to take all spontaneity out of sex. I never know when's the right time to put it in. I mean, half the time I put it in and nothing happens. And it's not till the next day, when I'm talking to someone about the weather that I remember I've still got Mickey Mouse's trampoline stuck up my crotch. Lately, I've dispensed with all the modern forms of contraception. You see, I've developed my own method of birth control: Move to Colorado. I know that all I have to do is get out of here and everything will be all right.

:: ashli 11:07 AM # ::
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Some poetry I found in the attic:

When they told me
I was blessed
that the love of two
had become one
I only expected
stretched flesh
bigger clothes...
no the clots that pass
now
you are gone.
2-5-97

My head is filled
with due dates
and pictures of you.
How could I love you
this much
and end your life?
You were part me
part him...
lump in my stomach
to wonder by.
How soon I gave up.
How ready I was
to throw in the towel.
How empty I am.
How pregnant
with infinite sadness.
2-5-97

Sitting on the edge of the table
sittin on the edge of life
the biggest decision ever made
the biggest mistake
sometimes when we are poised that way
with destiny looming
waiting for answers
there is nothing to say
only papers to sign
and white jars waiting
filling up before my eyes
with the life inside.
2-5-97

My bdad planted a seed
abortion
abortion
might be what I need.
I thought
"What a bastard!"
but the vomit
twisted his image
he became
sainted hero
a solution to my agony
advice I took
before I knew
what agony was.
2-5-97

Now
when it matters not
I can shovel it in.
I get thirsty
when there's no one
to tend.
With nothing doing,
growing inside
I'm eaten alive.
2-11-97

:: ashli 11:00 AM # ::
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What's best for business...

WalMart responds to my boycott letter re: their new policy of "Plan B" distribution:

"Thank you for your message.Until recently, Wal-Mart and SAM'S CLUB pharmacies sold emergency contraception only in Illinois, where state law required us to do so. In February, a ruling by the state Board of Pharmacy required all of our pharmacies in Massachusetts to stock and dispense the product. Pressure to introduce similar requirements is building in Connecticut and New York, and we expect other states to follow suit.

In light of these developments, all Wal-Mart and SAM'S CLUB pharmacies will immediately begin carrying Plan B emergency contraception. By Monday, March 20, all of our pharmacies should have received an initial stock.

The company is maintaining its conscientious objection policy, which is consistent with the tenets of the American Pharmaceutical Association. This policy, except where prohibited by law, allows any Wal-Mart or SAM'S CLUB pharmacy Associate who does not feel comfortable dispensing a prescription for certain medications [those which are not considered core to the practice of pharmacy], including Plan B emergency contraception, to refer customers to another pharmacist or pharmacy as spelled out in our policy. We do require that these Associates fulfill their obligation to help customers by referring them to another pharmacy that stocks the product.

These decisions have been made after very careful consideration. We believe that we are doing what is best for the business, while respecting our individual associates.

Thank you,
Customer Relations"

Abortion supporters everywhere applaud WalMart's decision, and Target gets my business from now on.

:: ashli 2:41 PM # ::
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''Silence and secrecy has been the most frustrating component of this case," Wendy Murphy, Avrett's mother, told the Globe. ''It just seems inhumane that information about this child can be forbidden on the theory that it's somehow protecting her privacy, when you consider that this child almost died under the state's care."

This statement kind of torques me off, because Haleigh's biological mother advocated KILLING Haleigh when obviously, there was a chance that the little girl could get better. Who knows? Better may not be "good enough" for Avrett. This is what worries me about giving her any say.

I don't have a problem with the information. Tell Avrett everything about her daughter's condition. Increase visitation. Let her stay day and night and engage in healthy devotion. Haleigh seems to value her company.

Do as much as possible to help this misguided mom and this precious child to heal as much of their tragically broken relationship as they can... but don't put life and death in the hands of Avrett. Don't give her that kind of control. She has already proved she is not worthy of it.

:: ashli 10:39 AM # ::
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Oh come on. Is anyone really surprised? The whole gist of the abortion movement is "If a person poses a problem... get rid of them."

:: ashli 10:30 AM # ::
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The boycott is on.

I wrote and told them I am shopping at Target until they ameliorate the situation.

:: ashli 10:27 AM # ::
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What the?

:: ashli 9:51 AM # ::
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"Allison is frustrated," Murphy said, according to the Globe report. "She wants to do what is best for Haleigh."

This is a scary comment coming from someone who has said that what is best is for Haleigh to be dead. It would be more than difficult for a mother to deal with the tremendous amount of guilt that comes with having a daughter who has been tortured for basically her whole 12 years on this earth. It might be easier in fact for a mother just to chuck it all by applying for the "clean slate" of envisioning her tragically abused child as a radiant spirit floating around in God's heavenly playground. If Haleigh is allowed to live and recover enough to understand what happened to her in her youth and communicate her perceptions and feelings about that as an adult, her mother stands to go through some additional emotional turbulence.

This is assuming that in spite of the changes with Haleigh, there has been no change with her mother. Personally, I pray that both of them will be rehabilitated, and I wish that they could be reunited. Yes, I said that. But on the condition that Mom has been rehabilitated, which may not ever happen. In a perfect world...

I'm elated to learn that Haleigh is receiving physical, speech and occupational therapy, and I wonder if her opportunity to receive these things has anything to do with the Terri Schiavo situation. One of the huge criticisms in that case was that Terri was never afforded any type of recuperative therapy.

:: ashli 7:45 AM # ::
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This Catholic school makes me sick. So the teacher made a poor choice. She didn't compound that poor choice with an even poorer one: aborting the child she chose to risk making when she "kicked it" with a man who never officially pledged a thing to her.

No one argues, by the way, that facing an unplanned pregnancy as a single parent can be a daunting concept. Hello, this is one of the reasons kickin' it outside of marriage is kind of a bad idea. Unless you're into killing your children, which too many people are OK with these days.

This Catholic educator did not embrace the sex outside of marriage issue. She did not contend that it was her right to continue doing it, to publicly support it, she didn't hold placards on a sidewalk or do a newspaper interview extolling the virtues of premarital sex. She goofed. We all goof. That's why there's a Christian school in the first place: we all need Christ, baby.

If anything, they should have held the woman up as an example of messing up but having the faith to turn from it and "sin no more". She came forward, admitted it to her empoloyers, and assured them that she would pick up the pieces right here, right now... and live her faith by having a baby in spite of the embarrassment associated with being single and pregnant in her particular crowd. Egads! The only difference between her and everyone else at the school and church is that a sweet li'l baby bump advertises her specific sin. Whoop-dee-do. You know half the men in church get a hidden tingle up their spine with the plunging neckline of a sister-in-Christ. Don't tell me we're not a bunch of problematic animals; Lord he'p us.

I love this young woman. She's courageous and she's doing the right thing in spite of her employers' shabby handling of the situation and their sickening alienation of this gal. I'm glad Serrin Foster came out in support of the new teacher.

Maybe someone should inform the Catholic school that it might be nice if THEY actually "conveyed the faith and the gospel values".

P.S.
Before anyone even says a thing, let me just clarify that if a Catholic teacher moonlighted as an abortion business escort, got caught, was lovingly chastised, reeducated, truly saw the error of her ways, and turned from them, I don't think a Catholic school should fire her either. She should be offered the chance to determine if she's still "wit' J.C." If she decides she knows "better" than what is written in His best-selling Novel, then boot her ever-lovin' arse right out the parochial door, wipe the dust from the sandal that imprinted her proverbial rear, and move on.

That's the distinction for me.

:: ashli 2:48 AM # ::
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Apparently, I am obsessed with General Foods International coffee, the Cafe Vienna variety.

(I will seek professional help just as soon as I finish my current cup, Jean Luke.)

:: ashli 1:05 AM # ::
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I have been reading letters from an online abortion support group, and needless to say, I haven't been getting much sleep lately. While not judging the women individually, their attitudes and actions are atrocious. I contend that most women actually DO know that they are killing their children in abortions. And they're OK with that. Very OK.

This week we have situation one: [recently deleted as the mom is now waffling, and I don't want this post to push her over the edge]

We also have a British gal who was hired here in the States to nanny the children of a married couple whose male half likes to visit the nanny's bed often. She has already had a son by him, and his wife apparently doesn't suspect a thing. Baby number two was wanted by the nanny but not by her employer and so was aborted at 5 months in a 2-day procedure six weeks ago.

She talks very openly and matter-of-factly about the abortion business "putting the baby to sleep" with the shot (digoxin) and admits that after they killed the baby (my word, not hers) they asked her if she was there of her own free will. When she said that she absolutely was not, they said, "Too late now!" Isn't that precious.

She was in 2 days of horrible pain, and her "so relieved" employer told her to "take it like a woman". After "the removal" as she calls it, she was mad at the employer who went home and immediately knocked his wife up with a baby he is giddy about having. The angry nanny naturally responded with a heightened sex drive which is fine for her employer who still can't keep himself from her bed. She thinks she might be pregnant again, six weeks after the late term abortion of her second child. She is "pissed off" that her employer coerced her into aborting that child and wants to have another baby.

Why don't we see these conversations on General Foods International coffee commercials for Cafe Vienna?

"Ahhh... I remember that summer in France... my tummy was so big that 'the removal' was painful, but after two days Jean Luke told me to take it like a woman, and we were kickin' it like bunnies within six weeks."

I want to see this in a commercial, because this is normal, right? It's a snapshot of normal women with normal lives who are making normal "choices". Please somebody celebrate the frickin moments of their lives, because I just don't have enough of my own putrid fodder keeping me awake at night.

Cripes. Forget the kids, folks, because they're just not the concern. In the land of looking good in a bikini, boobies, not babies, are the point of appeal.

This is where we are after 30 years of abortion. I don't even want to imagine where we're headed.

:: ashli 3:43 PM # ::
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"...you believe that any woman who objects to abortion on moral grounds is wrong and has been tricked and infantilized into reaching that conclusion."

"...abortion ruins lives, the life taken and the life left behind. If you believe that CPCs ruin lives, get out your placards, gather your victims, and rally at their doorsteps. But if you truly 'can't saying anything' and wouldn't dream of 'coercing' a decision one way other the other, my advice to you is simple: shut up and stand aside. Because quite frankly, lady, you're just in the way."

A highly intelligent, super-rational kick in the ever-lovin' arse.

HT: Aa

:: ashli 2:50 PM # ::
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"For an abortion at Tiller's when there is no fetal anomaly, all that needs to be done is filling out a form explaining why it would be harmful to your mental health to carry the baby to term. The counselor signs it and recommends you for the "maternal indications" program. And just that easy to obtain a 3rd trimester abortion at his clinic as long as you have the thousands of dollars to pay."

Do NOT miss her blog.

:: ashli 2:32 PM # ::
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A friend brough his 12-year-old daughter with him to Orlando Women's Center yesterday as they reached out to mothers going in to abort their children. My friends offer financial assistance, medical care and assistance and friendship beyond birth. They are wonderful people who get spat on, insulted, cussed out, physically threatened and sometimes physically abused by the people who hate them, the people they have come away from comfortable homes and comfortable lives to love.

It's always packed at Pendergraft's early and late term abortion business. Mothers (and fathers) spill out on the lawn waiting for their turn in the stirrups. As they hurled insults at those who offered them love, the 12-year-old spontaneously began singing this song:

In My Daughter's Eyes

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes.

Those who were there to love wept.

There's something you should know: the 12-year-old is blind. Her sighted father says God gave her to him so that he could see. They go regularly to the abortion business in hopes of helping others do the same.

May those with (and without) eyes see.

:: ashli 2:04 PM # ::
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"I doubt very seriously that any of those that oppose this bill ... had ever had the experience of standing over their grandson's casket and kissing him on the cheek and telling him good-bye, knowing that the state of Alabama doesn't even recognize that he is a child," said Roger Parker."

:: ashli 1:14 PM # ::
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"According to OR, the abortion facility is owned by Bertha Bugarin, who also owns restaurants."

Is it me, or is owning a restaurant just not the kind of information one wants to hear in tandem with owning an abortion business?

:: ashli 10:49 AM # ::
...

A brave, brave, brave, BRAVE woman.

HT: Aa

:: ashli 11:36 AM # ::
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"Evidence Doesn't Matter" -- APA Spokesperson Says of Abortion Complications

Studies Showing Emotional Problems Not Relevant to American Psychological Association's Pro-Choice Advocacy

Springfield, IL (Feb. 15, 2005) -- According to a spokesperson for the American Psychological Association, the APA's pro-choice position, first adopted in 1969, is based on a civil rights view, not on scientific proof of any mental health benefits arising from abortion.

The admission that ideology, not science, governs the APA's support for abortion came in response to a request by a Washington Times columnist for the organization's reaction to a new study linking abortion to mental illness. The study tracked 25 years of worth of data on women born in Christchurch, New Zealand.

The researchers had expected that their data, drawn from one of the largest and most comprehensive longitudinal studies in the world, would definitively refute a recent series of studies linking abortion to higher rates of mental health problems. The Christchurch team, led by a self-professed "pro-choice atheist," Prof. David M. Fergusson, expected to find that any mental health problems occurring after abortion would be fully explainable by prior mental health problems, which some believe are more common among women who have abortions. Instead, the New Zealand research team found the opposite. Even after the researchers controlled for this and numerous other alternative explanations, abortion was clearly linked to elevated rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicidal behavior.

The findings so surprised Fergusson's research team that they began reviewing the studies cited by the APA in its claims that abortion is beneficial, or at least non-harmful, to women's mental health. The researchers concluded
(1) that the APA's publications defending abortion are based on a small number of studies that had major methodological shortcomings (a view that echoes former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop's complaint in 1987 that the research on abortion was too inadequate to draw any definitive conclusions), and
(2) that the APA appeared to be consistently ignoring a body of studies published in the last seven years that have shown negative effects from abortion.

The Christchurch team's criticism of the APA's selective and strong assurances of the mental health benefits of abortion prompted Warren Throckmorton, a psychologist and newspaper columnist, to call the APA for comment on Fergusson's criticisms. He was referred to an APA expert and spokesperson on abortion and women's issues, Dr. Nancy Felipe Russo. Russo was among the leaders within the APA who, in 1969, led the organization to adopt an official position in favor of abortion as a civil right. She has subsequently been active in research and advocacy efforts opposing parental notification and mandatory informed consent statutes related to abortion.

APA Is Not Neutral On Abortion Science
When asked to comment on the New Zealand study and the pro-choice authors' criticisms of the APA, Russo told Throckmorton that the APA's position on abortion was established on the view that abortion is a civil right. As quoted in Throckmorton's Washington Times column, Russo explained that the Christchurch study would have no effect on the APA's position because "to pro-choice advocates, mental health effects are not relevant to the legal context of arguments to restrict access to abortion."

In the first draft of Throckmorton's column, which he sent for comment to another expert on abortion research, Dr. David Reardon of the Springfield, IL-based Elliot Institute, Russo was quoted more bluntly, saying, "it doesn't matter what the evidence says." Throckmorton and Russo subsequently agreed to the clarification of her statement as it appeared in the Washington Times.

According to Reardon, an author of several of the studies on abortion that have been ignored by the APA, Russo's statements "confirm the complaint of critics that the APA's briefs to the Supreme Court and state legislatures are really about promoting a view about civil rights, not science. Toward this end, the APA has set up task forces and divisions that include only psychologists who share the same bias in favor of abortion."

Reardon believes the APA's task forces on abortion have actually served to stifle rather than encourage research. "When researchers like Fergusson or myself publish data showing abortion is linked to mental health problems, members of the APA's abortion policy police rush forward to tell the public to ignore our findings because they are completely out of line with their own 'consensus' statements which are positioned as the APA's official interpretation of the meaningful research on abortion," he said.

When is Relief Not Relief?
Reardon is especially disturbed by what he decries as the "one note" optimism found in position papers by the APA, Planned Parenthood, and other organizations supporting abortion.

Among the studies most frequently cited by abortion supporters are those that have asked women to check off a list of feelings they have after their abortions, often within just a few hours, a week, or a month of the procedure. The list may include words like "relief," "regret," "guilt," and "happiness." These studies have found that the most commonly reported reaction after abortion is relief. Indeed, the phrase, "the most commonly reported reaction is relief," frequently shows up in information and consent forms for abortion.

"All the emphasis on women experiencing relief is misleading because most women reporting relief also report negative reactions," Reardon said. "Indeed, when you add up the number of women reporting negative reactions, it regularly exceeds the number of women reporting relief."

The problem, Reardon says, is that while statistics on "relief" may have value in marketing or lobbying for abortion, they have little or no value as a scientific measure.

"Women are simply presented with this single word," he said. "So women who feel relief that they survived an unpleasant surgery, relief that they will no longer face their boyfriend's badgering to have an abortion, relief that they are no longer having morning sickness, or relief from any number of other stresses, are all lumped into the same category, even though their experiences are different. Lumping all forms of relief together helps to makes it sound like most women are reporting that abortion has fundamentally improved their lives, but it's a sloppy and misleading data variable. In fact, when you really look at the data, most of the very same women who are reporting 'relief' are also reporting grief, shame, traumatic reactions, or other negative feelings."

"Thirty-five years ago, when the APA joined in the effort to legalize abortion, they were promising more than just 'relief,'" he added. "They were insisting that abortion would fundamentally improve women's mental and physical health by sparing them the burden of unwanted children. But 38 million abortions later, there is still not a single statistically-validated study that has shown that abortion has actually improved the lives of women who abort compared to those who carry to term.

"Instead, if you look at the data instead of consensus opinions, depression rates are up, not down, among women who have had abortions. Suicide and substance abuse are up, not down. Premature deliveries are up, not down. But instead of including this data in their statements on abortion, the APA's self-selected panels of abortion advocates continue to distract the media from the all hard evidence linking abortion to higher rates of suicide, substance abuse, depression and anxiety by promoting meaningless statistics about relief."
Reardon says he is thankful that Russo has finally helped to call attention to the fact that the APA's position on abortion is principally based on a commitment to defend abortion as a civil right.

But this admission, he says, "should be weighed in light of criticisms against the trend toward 'consensus science' as a means of influencing politics. As one critic, best-selling author Dr. Michael Crichton, creator of Jurassic Park and ER, has succinctly observed: 'The work of science has nothing whatever to do with consensus. Consensus is the business of politics.'"

******************************
CONSENSUS SCIENCE IS NOT SCIENCE
Outside the context of the abortion debate, best selling author Michael Crichton, M.D., a 1969 graduate of the Harvard Medical School, described the disturbing trend of "consensus science" at a Caltech lecture in 2004, a brief portion of which is excerpted below:

I regard consensus science as an extremely pernicious development that ought to be stopped cold in its tracks. Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled. Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had.

Let's be clear: the work of science has nothing whatever to do with consensus. Consensus is the business of politics. Science, on the contrary, requires only one investigator who happens to be right, which means that he or she has results that are verifiable by reference to the real world. In science consensus is irrelevant. What is relevant is reproducible results. The greatest scientists in history are great precisely because they broke with the consensus.
There is no such thing as consensus science. If it's consensus, it isn't science. If it's science, it isn't consensus. Period.

Excerpted from Michael Crichton, Aliens Cause Global Warming," Caltech Michelin Lecture, Jan. 17, 2003. (available online)
# # #
Sources:
David M. Fergusson, L. John Horwood, and Elizabeth M. Ridder, "Abortion in young women andsubsequent mental health," Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 47(1): 16-24, 2006.
Warren Throckmorton, "Abortion and mental health," Washington Times, January 21, 2005.
David, H., " Retrospectives" From APA Task Force to Division 34," Population & Environmental Psychology Bulletin 1999, 25(3):2-3.

These releases and more can be found here.

:: ashli 10:55 AM # ::
...

New dance sensation.

:: ashli 10:50 AM # ::
...

YeeeeeeeHaw! It's time for a BBQ!

:: ashli 10:48 AM # ::
...

For those who identify themselves as Christians and simultaneously believe in abortion, first let me say happy Valentine's to you; I'm glad your heart is beating and that you have the liberty to live and love.

Next, I present you with this heart-shaped box full of goodies:

There are three things that will endure - faith hope and love - and the greatest is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God's requirements. Romans 13:10

Let love be your highest goal. 1 Corinthians 14:1

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails. 1 Corithians 13:4-8

Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Romans 12:9

Show that you love the Lord your God by walking in His ways and clinging to Him. Deuteronomy 11:22

I love all who love Me. Proverbs 8:17

...love your neighbor as yourself. Leviticus 19:18

I lavish My Love on those who love Me and obey My commands, even for a thousand generations. Exodus 20:6

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another , for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God - for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

...love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

...everything you do must be done with love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

Bon appetit.

Happy Valentine's day also to my "right wing, lunatic, anti-choice, lifer" pals. Thanks for continuing to help me to understand what love really is.

(And it ain't killin' people.)

:: ashli 8:10 AM # ::
...

Remember this?

"Dear sir or maam:

I am not involved in decisions concerning advertising content. Your message has been passed on to our advertising department and corporate offices. They have issued the following release:

After re-examining the ads that were submitted by Will County Right ToLife, The Herald News has decided that the ads will be allowed to runshould this group decide to do so. For the record, the originaldecision to not run them was mine and at no point did I state that theads were "too graphic". If that was stated by a representative of thisnewspaper, it was done so in error.I e-mailed Jill Stanek Sunday afternoon and left a message with thelocal contact before 9:00am this morning requesting that they contactme. The purpose of this contact was to inform them of my decision.
Steve Vanisko
Advertising DirectorThe Herald News

Hopefully this will resolve any concerns you have on this issue.
Bill Wimbiscus
Managing Editor
The Herald News"

:: ashli 8:01 AM # ::
...

Are these becoming the next big thing in the "kinder, gentler" abortion? In getting "psyched up" for their self-imposed child loss experience, women in one abortion "support" group are talking about purchasing the product to symbolize the children they are going to abort. I don't think this is necessarily what the creator intended.

Cherishing a lump of clay that looks like your baby seems a little contradictory to me. Why not cherish your actual baby? I guess a little doll that sits on your dresser doesn't require any responsibility, which these days is evidently, a fate worse than death.

:: ashli 7:33 AM # ::
...

From FFL:

Betty Friedan's Mixed Legacy

Betty Friedan, who launched the '70's women's movement with her 1963 landmark book, The Feminine Mystique, died on her 85th birthday, Saturday, February 5, 2006, in Washington, D.C.

Life for women changed dramatically after Friedan challenged the limitation of women's roles to wife and mother. She rightly deserves much credit from women today who can seek careers in professions previously open only to men.
It was one of the most significant social changes in history. But there is more to the legacy of the co-founder and first president of the National Organization for Women.

At the same time another movement was emerging—one whose mission would eclipse the goals of the NOW-led women's movement.

The other movement was founded by two men: Larry Lader, who was concerned with population control, and Dr. Bernard Nathanson, who had seen a botched abortion and believed that if abortion was legal, it would be safer for women.
Lader and Nathanson, co-founders of the National Association for the Repeal of Abortion Laws, were unsuccessful in their attempts to persuade state legislators to repeal laws designed to protect women and children from abortion. Many of these laws were the result of advocacy and cooperation by suffragists, doctors and media a hundred years earlier.

According to Nathanson, who later became a pro-life advocate, Lader came up with a different strategy. They approached Friedan and other leaders in the women's movement whose goal had been equality, especially equality in the workplace.

If women wanted to be hired like men, paid like men and promoted like men, Lader argued, then women shouldn't expect employers to deal with women's fertility issues. Why should the boss contend with maternity leave and benefits, or time off when a child is sick, in a school play or in sports? If women could control their fertility, then women could compete with men for employment.
Friedan was reportedly not comfortable with abortion. To overcome her reticence, the founders of NARAL simply fabricated a false number of 10,000 women a year who had died from abortion. According to Nathanson the real numbers were probably closer to 500 a year.

With Friedan's acceptance of abortion, later editions of her landmark book were edited to include an epilogue promoting a “right to choose childbirth or abortion.”

Friedan's acceptance of the premise that women's rights should come at the expense of our children was a far cry from our feminist foremothers like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

The same women who fought for the right of slaves to be free and women to vote, also fought for the right to life. Stanton, who in 1848 organized the first women's rights convention in Seneca Falls, New York, classified abortion as a form of infanticide. She said, “When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” Victory Woodhull, the first woman to run for president, said that the “rights of children as individuals begin while yet they remain the foetus.”

Anthony believed that the solution to abortion would be found in addressing the root causes that drive women to abortion.

Stanton, who celebrated her maternity by raising a flag in front of her home, would have been well aware that women died in great numbers from giving birth. Women were a century away from the benefits of antibiotics, cesarean sections, or the prenatal care available to women in a developed country in the later half of the twentieth century, but Stanton did not believe that abortion was the answer.

Without known exception, the early American feminists opposed abortion in no uncertain terms.

A century later, Sarah Weddington successfully argued Roe v. Wade in part on the grounds that women couldn't complete their education if pregnant, and Lader and Nathanson convinced Friedan and other leaders of the women's movement that abortion was necessary to achieve equality in the workplace.
It became “Our body. Our choice.” And “our problem.”

Since then, women have struggled to make it in a man's world. Women often feel forced to choose between their education and career goals and their children. One can only imagine how the lives of 25 or 30 million American women would have been different if Friedan and her contemporaries had rejected abortion as a solution to the problems women face and instead told the NARAL founders “Women have children. Get over it.”

Though her legacy is mixed, Betty Friedan's work opened doors to women. This positive dimension should be remembered by all feminists. Feminists for Life will build on advancements for women in the workplace by pressing for more resources and support for pregnant women and parents, so women will not feel forced to choose.

:: ashli 1:43 PM # ::
...

Ashlynn

Lee

Timothy

:: ashli 9:17 AM # ::
...

A Hope monument is now in our state. I think it's a great thing, but personally I can't look at it. Way too powerful for me.

I suppose this says something about where I am at emotionally.

:: ashli 8:08 PM # ::
...

Here is a late Christmas present for all the abortion supporters out there:

My Achilles' Heel is when an abortion advocate rejects the truth of my experience. That gets to me like nothing else. It's like telling a Jew the holocaust never happened, that it's just a lie manufactured to conveniently drum up hatred for a certain set of "compassionate" Germans who were really just trying to help mankind.

Like those people who go completely off the chain when you say "Yo mama!", I just go internally ballistic when I am accused of making up my experience.

I wish to God, the Maker of heaven and earth, that I had made up any of it. Every fiber of my being groans that wish every moment of every day.

But damn me to hell, it happened. And nothing in the world can make it not have happened. Believe me, I've tried everything.

:: ashli 6:09 PM # ::
...

I got news for this poor guy: nobody but "pro-lifers" is going to call ,because they are the only ones who give a flying flip about his dead daughter and grandchild. Waiting for neutrality on the abortion issue, is an endeavor to collect cobwebs. The truth has been shoved so far down over the last 30 or so years that, regarding opportunities to speak honestly, the best policy might be to take what you can get and be glad to get it.

:: ashli 1:42 PM # ::
...

Practical help for pregnant mothers with health issues.
(Thank you, mother and daughter Torres.)

HT: Christina

:: ashli 4:36 PM # ::
...

My letter:

"Your refusal to run ads that share a different viewpoint than your own is bias, pure and simple and bad for the news industry period. Shame on you.

Ashli ***
***, Florida"

:: ashli 4:07 PM # ::
...

My letter:

"Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle is not a medical expert and supports abortion making him perhaps not the best authority on the mechanics of the fetal body. Would it not have been more appropriate to talk to several leading experts who practice medicine in that field, gleaning opinions from several different angles?

Ashli ***
***, FL"

:: ashli 9:17 AM # ::
...

Legal and safe!

"Despite abortion's legality, the study found that as many as one-third of women in India report complications following the abortion."

:: ashli 8:23 AM # ::
...

I've had the identical experience time and again. When they run out of arguments it's "You have issues with tolerance, diversity and... violence. Seek professional help."

Hello, what?

HT: Aa.

:: ashli 9:30 AM # ::
...

So you've been beaten "senseless" with a baseball bat and are now in a hospital fighting for your life? Not to worry! No one will kill you... that is to say, as long as you recover enough from severe, traumatic brain injuries to accomplish certain monkey tests which "professionals" may or may not use to end your life in a court of law.

So no need to be anxious. After all, you have 8 whole days to heal and perform - ample time for anyone!

:: ashli 9:18 AM # ::
...

Legal and safe!

:: ashli 8:57 PM # ::
...

One way of putting your heart where your mouth is might be to adopt an infant with special needs. Ever wonder what it's like to parent a little one with different abilities? CHASK and ye shall receive!

:: ashli 8:00 AM # ::
...

Many of these folks are just the sort of people who are taking advantage of the miraculous evidence-concealer called abortion.

Do you know who your friends and neighbors are? Type in your address. The little house icon is your home. Click on the surrounding colored boxes to take a gander at your area's sex offenders.

:: ashli 7:42 PM # ::
...

Read it once then read it twice then read it once again.

This is artificial nutrition and hydration:




















This is ALTERNATIVE nutrition and hydration:














(Me "slurping down" my >$1,000/day steak and lobster dinner.)



Close up of my first feeding tube (4 in all):









At this point you might be saying to yourself:
"Extraordinary measures? Why that there jess looks like one o' them thar glorified IV's!"
To which I say, "Bingo."



This is a vegetable:















This is a little girl who needs finally to be loved:















Some excellent commentary.
Avrette speaks in this interesting video.
I can't help but feel somewhat concerned for the two children still with Avrett.

:: ashli 11:26 AM # ::
...

OK, so I cried.
You rock the freakin Casbah, Jules!

:: ashli 5:07 PM # ::
...

Aw, that last post was kind of depressing. What to do about it? What - to- do???

Hey, I know! Let's all laugh at the horror of abortion!

:: ashli 2:12 PM # ::
...

Tomorrow's the day of course. I was just telling a dear friend that the build up is usually worse than the actual anniversary. It seems to evolve, so I never really know what to expect.

Right now I can't get the thought out of my head: "Don't do it, don't do it!" I see the 24-year-old ghost girl under the sheets thinking "Tomorrow it will all be over. Oh, I don't want you to die, little one! How can I keep you? PUT THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND! I can't, I can't! I can't DO this anymore! It's me or you, kid... and it's NOT going to be me."

I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not that mother anymore. But I see her in the final minutes before the death of pretty much everything. I see her and I scream through the vortex of time. She doesn't hear me. She won't.

I would still be waiting for my husband to come home. What would he be thinking and doing at work the day before he took his wife and child to die in a grungy abortion clinic in Orlando where the oranges hung fat on the trees? I thought they were mocking. I see they were imploring. "Turn back, turn back." No, mother trees, I can't eat your children if I don't devour mine. For an orange, you see. I did it for an orange. You will remember I had fruit salad afterward. Fruit salad and hotel treats.

My child is fresh-slain by my hand
my hand that short moments afterwards lifts
strawberries and chocolates up to lips
lips that will never kiss a child
a child broken
by a mother's dysfunctional heart.

Above the noise of the TV I hear him coming through the door. Tomorrow Big Trouble in Little China will feature Kurt Russell, and I dream that I will finally be able to care. But I won't. I never will again. Big Trouble in Little Orlando.

Since every moment is a precious jewel of pain I sleep at 6 or 7, unheard of, until the dark 3 AM hours of the next morning, but tonight, "the night before", my husband is in a fog. He doesn't hear me or seem to care about my comfort or my sick hours. I must sleep; get me to the gurney, get me to my life again so I can bathe and eat and walk and work and put this all behind me. He is in a world of his own, drawing out the moments. Saying goodbye or holding on.

I have spent long hours in the day saying goodbye and dying away from what I know I should live for. Whispering goodbye and clutching my belly wailing like a mother who is clutching her belly and saying goodbye to a child she will kill as the rooster crows. I have opened every Easter egg of hope, releasing the breath of life into thin, indifferent air. Ruptured every moment with perverted lying love. Sliced permanently through all good things to unfetter me from transient shackles. Traded an ephemeral sentence for death and life in the Cell.

"Turn off the TV. I want to go to sleep."
No reply.
"Turn off the TV. I need to go to sleep. Don't you care? I need to sleep!"
He doesn't hear me. I am shocked enough by his odd behavior to leave him alone. On into the night he watches TV while I fade in and out of the dream called "It will all be over tomorrow."

I am thinking of who I was then, of how glad I am that in that sense I am dead, and of a child who will never benefit from the moral of this story. I am counting down the minutes, watching the ghost shadow under sick sheets going so horribly wrong, making, by far, the worst decision of her pathetic, stood-for life. I am screaming to her through the vortex of time. She doesn't hear me. She never will.

January 30...
tomorrow is yesterday again.

:: ashli 4:26 PM # ::
...

One more added here, and I think that's the end of this particular bandying.

:: ashli 4:16 PM # ::
...

More added here.

If you are one o' them thar "right-wing religious fanatics", please pray for this dude and his family. Chances are the majority of the Cell's readers were like he was and are grateful that we are no longer. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I thought he meant harm. I know my own intentions were good when I was a "choicer". But then, like many of you, I lost a child in abortion and theory became experience, experience became genuine exploration, genuine exploration became knowledge, knowledge became truth.

I saw the light.
I saw the light.
No more darkness
no more night...

I have traded the wrong for the right.

:: ashli 11:27 AM # ::
...

Just read. I promised the writer, who so graciously granted permission to post these anonymously, that I would not provide any commentary. In addition, I'm not even going to attempt to ameliorate any of my sloppy spellings or verb conjugations. It is what it is, submitted to you.

I got the first letter out of the blue:

Him:
"I am sorry but you and your fellow bloggers listed in your blog space are self rightous right wing religious fanatics. You interfere with the difficult decisions people are forced to make under duress and inject YOUR BELIEFS in their process of decision making. Are you GOD? Are you doing GODS WORK? I don't think so. It just makes me sick to see your self rightous proclamations of doing what you do because you "care"about the people involved. What you care about are your own personal "religious beliefs" and your belief that you are right and in a sense...GOD. Enjoy being GOD ...and as you confuse and complicate the decisions of all the scared pregnant young women that come to your blog site for help, remember that your sense of self importance comes at a price that you will never have to pay but they will. Hi...Just a brief comment on your site. We all have our opinions. I am sure you are well intended. I just think you are misguided thats all-"

Me:
"your opinion of people like us is one i misguidedly held myself for 25 years, but i was probably much more avidly pro-choice than you... ***. (i'm assuming you're a man.) i am a woman who lost a child in a second trimester abortion. i'm entitled to reacting to my experience, and i'm entitled to offer women the help i wish I'D gotten. i'm also blessed to have as part of my life the women and children who accepted that help in the 11th hour, love and sacrifice instead of the knife.

and i'm not sorry.

what makes you sick is a woman's site on abortion.
what makes me sick is how abortion hurts some women and hurts ALL aborted children. so i'm shining the light on what abortion does to some women and all children. it's bound to infuriate those who want to remain in the darkness perpetuating the lie that abortion is a necessary sorrow.

i accept your fury. the only affect it has on my pain is to add to it, and so steadies yet my resolve.

love,
ash"

Him:
"I am the proud father of **** girls ages ****. What they do with their lives is a personal matter between their parents, their doctor and their own sense of right or wrong. I would never want my daughters to be forced to have a back alley abortion IN SECRET the like of which was so common prior to the passage of Rowe vs Wade. I am *** and remember vividly the results of those dangerous and illegal procedures. It is my right to protect my family from unwanted intrusion into the very personal decisions that having an abortion entails. While I don't necessarily think abortion should be taken lightly, what YOUR personal experience was and how it affected you, is no reason for you to impose your remorse for your second trimester abortion on anyone else. At least be transparent about what your site is about...and don't lead on some poor vulnerable young women into your snare and force her to have a baby she can ill afford to have. And if you do and she has that baby, take personal responsibility for that child and give it the financial and emotional support that child will need to become a responsible and loving adult. It is your responsibly after all, if you take that path. Otherwise, do the girl a favor, ask to talk to her parents or doctor or school councilor...tell her to get input from those around her that really care and love her. It is her choice, no mtter what your feelings are for her fetus. That is the easy part. Raising the real life beby to adulthood is the hard part. You are doing nothing but the light lifting without any responsibility toward the fetus you hold so dear. Put your money where your mouth is! ADOPT ALL THE FETUSES YOU SAVE!"

Me (responding to his red comments more specifically):
"it is no one's right to endanger their children or their grandchildren.

my remorse is not the issue. the cause of the remorse is: killing a child. no one, not me, not you, not your daughters has the right to do that. you can't hide behind personal choice and personal convictions. killing a child is killing a child no matter if it makes you happy or sad, no matter if you take it lightly or flippantly.

my "snare" is love and it's a tender "trap". but seriously, have you READ my site? it's as transparent as anyone could get.

there are a lot of women who are ill prepared to parent children who've been born into poverty or young parenting. social services' solution is not to kill those children. they create programs that attempt to help our fellows, programs that PBS liberals like you are so very proud of. i'm proud of them too. they're the right thing to do. knocking on the doors of these children and putting a bullet through their skull to put them and their tired, frustrated parents out of misery is NOT the answer. your sense should make sense in-womb and out, because people are people in and out. if your rationale isn't consistent, it isn't rational.

"And if you do and she has that baby, take personal responsibility for that child and give it the financial and emotional support that child will need to become a responsible and loving adult. "

the relationship i have with my dearest friends is nothing i have to answer to you about. but further, were i steer someone away from the dismembering death you call kindness, i would not have the moral responsibility to care for them for the rest of their lives anymore than you would have the moral responsibility to "adopt" financiall and emotionally the 2-year-old child whose mother you talked out of killing him/her. if you want to know more about my relationship with women i have loved then you might invest a little time in exploring the sight you are so bent on lambasting.

"Otherwise, do the girl a favor, ask to talk to her parents or doctor or school councilor...tell her to get input from those around her that really care and love her."

a girl's parents are her guides in life, not her doctor or her school counselor. and being a doctor or a school counselor are not what certify love. it is a parent's responsibility to guide his/her children wisely. where parents are unwise, the state steps in. it is not a perfect system. it never will be. you're asking for an impossible perfection, and whatever is, abortion is not the answer. some things we do know: killing children is not an acceptable solution to any problem.

"You are doing nothing but the light lifting without any responsibility toward the fetus you hold so dear. Put your money where your mouth is! ADOPT ALL THE FETUSES YOU SAVE!"

ok, i'll do that when you agree to adopt all the children you help save through welfare/healthcare, etc. programs. or could it be that there is some type of flaw in your argument that i must adopt everyone i help? i love your gumption. you could do a lot of good if you understood what love really is.
.
you're talking to someone whose life was literally saved by the illegality of abortion in '71 (much to your chagrin, i suppose). i would have been ripped to shreds by your brand of "compassion" if it had been legal; how can you argue with me that my death was someone else's right and would have been better? (how offensive is that?) i endured years of poverty and sexual abuse as a child, but i'm so glad to be alive today! suffering is not a crime to hold against a child... that s/he should get the death sentence for his/her own "good" and the "good" of his/her duped parents is an amazing injustice. finally, consider my own second trimester child and what i saw on the white-tiled floor. oh, dear sir, there is nothing upon nothing you can ever say to me that will have me unknowing what i can never unknow. no amount of your chocolate dipping will ever conceal the bitter fruit underneath.

i implore you to arise, o sleeper. there is hope yet. cling to it. don't give up on people. there are positive ways to meet life's most difficult challenges. killing our vulnerable fellows is not the answer to our problems. we can all do better than abortion. of every sorrow it is an unnecessary one. would that you could see that.

ashli
p.s.
i intend perhaps to post these emails anonymously. i will of course take out any of your identifying information such as your mention of your age and specifics about your children. if you are opposed to this, please let me know and i will reconsider."

Him:
"Ashli- Your choice of language speaks for itself. Vivid images of violence really makes your argument look rather perverted. I will always take the high road in that sense. You and I are different, I believe in privacy and the right of a women to choose, you insist that no one has the right to, as you put it "kill a child". I guess then every month a women kills a potential child during ovulation and a man does with each ejaculation that has no purpose other than pure pleasure. It is in the definition of the words you use that you pervert the act of abortion and make it into something utterly hideous and violent. It is always amazing tome how people who hold such heart felt passion for the fetus, yet have no regard for the lives of say, an Iraqi family who is bombed into dust by US warplanes. Their lives are meaningless and not worthly of your concern. Maybe if one of the women was pregnant youmight feel some compassion. The death penalty? I bet you favor it! This is all sanctioned by your Christian religious beliefs...right? Partial Birth Abortion... a violent image of a living breathing full term baby having its life ended for the simple convince of the selfish mother? A hole punched in its head as it exits the birthcanal...murdered...and you believe this is an accepted practice in pregnancies involving unwanted pregnancies? From my reading on the matter this not a normal practice and is used only in saving the life of the mother. You and your supporters are delusional...you see an evil society of evil people murdering babies. The truth is far less dramatic. The truth...not your perverted vision of the truth, is what I am concerned with. I don't really care what you think about me andmy liberal beliefs. I am proud to share that heritage that goes back to the foundation of this great country...liberal, thinking, passionate men of words who shaped our Constitution and provided liberty and justice as the hallmarks of our governmental system. You and I are are different yet we share a common father...we must learn to live together and accept the differences that divide us. We must learn to tolerate the things we can't change and accept them for what they are. What you want and what I want don't differ too much. Security, shelter, love and family, community and brotherhood. I wish you would develop a sense of tolerance and understanding...change the definition of the argument...but be on notice, me and millions of other Americans will resist to the bitter end any attempt by anyone to restrict the right of any women, regardless of age or location, to have the personal freedom to choose."

Me:
"Ashli-"Your choice of language speaks for itself. Vivid images of violence really makes your argument look rather perverted. I will always take the high road in that sense. You and I are different, I believe in privacy and the right of a women to choose, you insist that no one has the right to, as you put it "kill a child". I guess then every month a women kills a potential child during ovulation and a man does with each ejaculation that has no purpose other than pure pleasure."

killing a child with potential, is violent, is never morally high, and is different than a potential child. "potential children", as you call sperm and egg, don't yet exist, so that argument is a bit silly.

"It is in the definition of the words you use that you pervert the act of abortion and make it into something utterly hideous and violent."

abortion kills a child. it is what it is.

"It is always amazing to me how people who hold such heart felt passion for the fetus, yet have no regard for the lives of say, an Iraqi family who is bombed into dust by US warplanes. Their lives are meaningless and not worthly of your concern. Maybe if one of the women was pregnant you might feel some compassion. The death penalty? I bet you favor it! This is all sanctioned by your Christian religious beliefs...right?"

you're speaking in absolute terms charging me with the crime of thinking and feeling how YOU THINK i think and feel. you who are spouting for women's rights don't even give me the pleasure of thinking and feeling for myself! i think that says a lot about you.

"Partial Birth Abortion... a violent image of a living breathing full term baby having its life ended for the simple convince of the selfish mother? A hole punched in its head as it exits the birthcanal...murdered...and you believe this is an accepted practice in pregnancies involving unwanted pregnancies?"

no.

"From my reading on the matter this not a normal practice and is used only in saving the life of the mother. You and your supporters are delusional...you see an evil society of evil people murdering babies."

the abortion-supporting ama says it is NEVER necessary to save the life of the mother, because the baby can always be delivered by c-section. you are perpetuating a lie.

"The truth is far less dramatic. The truth...not your perverted vision of the truth, is what I am concerned with. I don't really care what you think about me and my liberal beliefs. I am proud to share that heritage that goes back to the foundation of this great country...liberal, thinking, passionate men of words who shaped our Constitution and provided liberty and justice as the hallmarks of our governmental system."

our country was founded on God and the right to each individual's life. our foremothers opposed abortion avidly. this "america" you speak of is different than america at our inception. your "america" it's a nation of your making, not of our forefathers'. and if you think roe v. wade was decided honestly and democratically, then you have not done your research.

"You and I are are different yet we share a common father...we must learn to live together and accept the differences that divide us."

you use a lower case letter to describe our Father which speaks again for itself.

"We must learn to tolerate the things we can't change and accept them for what they are."

we can change abortion. furthermore, our Father tells us very clearly not to kill and to rescue those innocents being lead away to death. you speak of our Father, but you follow mushy 70's free-to-be-you-and-me psychobabble. there's a difference in the burger king and the KING of kings. with God, you can't have it your way.

"What you want and what I want don't differ too much. Security, shelter, love and family, community and brotherhood. I wish you would develop a sense of tolerance and understanding..."

i have zero tolerence for child killing. your flowing pixel, spruced up as you make it, will never convince me otherwise. again, you are talking to someone who has experienced second trimester abortion (you haven't). and you are talking to someone who would have been aborted but who wasn't because abortion was illegal in florida '71. you skirted around that, didn't speak to that at all. but what could you possibly say? "your mother should have had the right to kill you." ?? "your decapitation and evisceration was her right."?? oh, you don't like those words. you don't like the pictures. you don't like the truth. you hide behind vernacular and concept and personal definition. how can you resolve that? how can you live on that? just because someone walks out of an abortion clinic with "phew!" on their smiling lips? people are dying in those buildings not to mention that every mother exiting has significantly raised her risk of terminal breast cancer, so sayeth abortion advocating research physicians. don't you even care?

"change the definition of the argument..."

the truth is what it is, no matter how you decoupage it with flowery lies.

"but be on notice, me and millions of other Americans will resist to the bitter end any attempt by anyone to restrict the right of any women, regardless of age or location, to have the personal freedom to choose."

oh, don't trouble yourself with the drama of a warning. i know evil when i see it. i know that you and your ilk will not rest, but i also know that love will ultimately prevail in spite of your malevolent advocacy. it's not about me v. you. it's about women, children, families and liberty and justice for ALL.

ashli
p.s.
i noticed you did not give me permission to post these exchanges on my blog. you couldn't possibly be afraid of your words being scrutinized, could you? at any rate, i will not post them out of respect for your wishes."

Him:
"Ashli-Shall I post your words on my liberal blog site? NO, YOU DON'T HAVE MY PERMISSION TO USE MY WORDS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. If you do then we will see eachother in court. I wish you well."

Me:
"yes, you have my permission to post our correspondence on your liberal blog site.

and while i don't legally need your permission to post excerpts and general ideas, i shall refrain because i do see how upsetting it is to you, and i have no desire to cause you any discomfort.

i will say that i think that your refusal to consent to going public with even your ANONYMOUS correspondence (which you initiated, btw) says just about everything of your advocacy... and i think that's worth your individual exploration. but that's entirely up to you.

at any rate, your life is precious, and i am glad that you are in this world.

take care.
ashli"

Him:
"OK...if you really want to post my views go ahead...*** was watching over my shoulder as I was typing you a note and *** thinks I waste too much time answering emails like this. *** is a Republican, I am a liberal Democrat...*** whole family is Republican...*** is an internationally famous Christian Minister and PHD. in religion...who moves with the top Christian leaders of today...you know them by name I'm sure...he is an author of books against porn...has met with the POPE three times during his career,,,was a member of Reagan's Commission on porn in the 1980's...and I argue with him over this issue as well...we go around the block, but we are civilized about it. Maybe its because we are family and as family he CONNECTS to me as a human being...regardless of our beliefs, we have a genuine respect for eachother. That is what I hope our society can achieve, because there will NEVER be complete agreement over the defination of child and fetus and exactly how to define what is murdering a child and what is exercising a womens right to choose her own personal destiny. Go ahead, tear this paragraph up line by line...I've seen that tactic used before and it only serves to make you look right and me wrong. If that is what is important for you go for it! You see, it isn't that easy...you want it to be, but it isn't. There are 300,000,000 people in America from every country, race creed and religion and non-religion here, all demanding freedom and respect for their values. If you IMPOSE your will on someone you are robbing them of their rights as a free citizen of this country, their Consitutional Rights. Go ahead... use violent words like murder and viseral descriptions of abortions to prove your point. I don't care. Be that as it may, it is YOUR RIGHT TO DO SO! I am glad you exercise your right to free speech! I encourage you to do so! It is when you cross over the line and insist that you have to right to deny someone else their rights of life, liberty and the persuit of happiness as expressed in our Constitution that I bristle and take action and get involved with people like you who live in a world of unchallanged ideas, surrounded by people who agree with you and nurture your passion. Tolerance is the key to a health society, allowing gays and lesbians to live freely without discrimination, government free of religious interference so it can truely repent all Americans of all races, religions and cultures. Christianity and Christians have a very selfish viewpoint, a viewpoint that says "we are the CHOSEN ONES" and as such deserve SPECIAL TREATMENT by the government. Well, unfortunately there are millions of NON-CHRISTIANS in America that deserve equal and fair treatment by the government as well. The idea of Seperation of Church and State has a reason behind it, and our founding fathers knew that it was not healthy for a Democracy to allow one religion to dominate government. That's what they left behind in Europe, government sponcered religion, and they KNEW FROM EXPERIENCE it would not be healthy for the United States of America! Find tolerance in your heart, forgive those that don't live the way you want them to, be a citizen of good faith and allow diversity without bigotry...we can all live together here...and we are after all...from the same source..."

Me:
"in all that you say about me, you're not connecting with ME as a fellow orb crawler, and you're so dead wrong about so many assumptions you have about me personally. i'm not trying to be cheeky, but i kind of have to laugh sometimes at your satires of me, because you just have no idea who i am and what i'm about... but you're so sure that you do that it's just mindblowing. it only serves as further evidence to me that you just don't take the time to actually make sure that you know what you're talking about before you form such strong, tireless opinions.

you're preaching to the choir with a lot of what you say but you just can't accept me and MY differences. i just have to fall right in line with what you think a "lifer" or a Christian is or, as you've charged before, i'm being "deceptive".

again, re: terms. you just don't like that i verbalize the truth without packing it in rose-scented excelsior. abortion is what it is: a grisly practice against humanity. you want me to use sanitizing terms like "products of conception" and what. (hitler did the same thing when he called gas chambers "relocation centers"; it had a nice beat that you could dance to but really didn't make him a swell guy, now did it.) i mean, take a look in the mirror: YOU'RE a product of conception. terms don't magically transfom the true nature of a thing. i couldn't even begin to get away with these terms if EVERYONE didn't REALLY know that what i'm saying is true. good grief, do you know that on my abortion records the abortionist even refers to his patients as MOTHERS??? even HE can admit what he is doing (and btw, he's so sure about it that he doesn't even hide behind the folly that the abc link is an "invalid" ploy used by "lifers"; he mentions that it's a risk right there in the papers - warns us poor aborting mothers! and that's another issue i have re: some of your past comments. not all aborting mothers are poor - some are wealthy - so there is even less of a case for financial/emotional adoption of "saved babies" in those situations, but i digress.).

i know what was in my belly. i know what i saw. i know what i am. i know what my child was. my physician referred to that "mass of tissue" as a "baby". MY PHYSICIAN (who performs abortions)! gestating human beings are nascent children. i don't need you or anyone to define that for me, and you can't "define" it for yourself. the truth is what it is: a person is a person. didn't we learn this lesson post-civil war? didn't we learn what a poverty discrimination is? egads! to think that it's still alive and well and being practiced by the very people who are so fond of decrying discrimination!

furthermore, all this "tolerance" stuff is just a 90's buzzword throwback. it means squat. tolerance isn't an absolute. i'm sure that you don't "tolerate" a man's personal choice to get his freak on every thursday at midnight with his 7 year old daughter. i almost KNOW you don't. but hey, what if he goes clintonesque and defines "sexual relations" as something other than say, what you and i personally define "sexual relations" as? no worries, the law steps in despite his personal beliefs. he gets no tolerance, and you and i applaud. what about the lovlies who come from other countries where it is acceptable to kill a teenaged daughter who brings shame upon the family? do we just tolerate that religious difference because dear ol' dad has a right to privacy, and the different belief is personally his? oh, isn't it nice to have our own personal definitions and all our happy sunshine carebear tolerance. c'mon man, we're talking about cutting up and sucking out growing human children, not pruning our own personal hedges on our own personal, private property while Christians push square boxwoods on everyone while screaming that topiaries will not be tolerated. give me a flipping break! i'm with your wife. debates like these are just as stupid as the debates between the north and south over slavery and what "personally" constitutes a human being and not a piece of biological property.

thanks for the permission to blog our email discourse. the posting will be just that: a posting of our emails without commentary. they don't need edit or commentary. people should look at what you say and at what i say and use their brains. the truth stands on its own.

ash"

Him:
Ashli-This last message seemed like it came from a different person. How many Ashli's are there? Do you team write these replies? It sure seems so to me...different words, different references but always similar use of the vindictive...Clinton is history now... 90's words? The words and ideas I express are common mainstream respectful words, timeless ideas about our Constitutional freedoms. Don't mean to be rude by this observation... You and your supporters that contribute to your blog are so sure of yourselves...so smug in your self righteousness...I bet it warms your heart to tear apart those women and men in search of answers...in need of understanding and help with your passionate beliefs. Just because your passion and religion says it is wrong doesn't mean it is wrong for those who don't share your values. I don't share your values or even come close to understanding them...they are foreign to me...we are genetically different I think...wired differently. I accept that, and it's OK. I can live with you and your beliefs. I respect your fundamental right to believe any crazy thing you want, out of experience, the Bible or any other document...I don't thinks it is healthy for your mental health, but I accept it on its face. In Nazi Germany people like you would have supported Hitler...what he did he did in secret...like President Bush who does his killing and torture in secret, you would have supported Hitler if he made you feel safe and stopped abortion or read your Bible and spoke of your God. Do you still support the President now you know he has sanctioned torture and killing of prisoners in our custody? I bet you do! I bet it all makes perfect sense to you. Corruption by big money of your political elite...Tom DeLay and the rest of the Republican power brokers are covered in dirty money...and the blood of tens of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan. Has God given TomDeLay the authority to be corrupt in order to raise money by any means to fight the good fight against abortion? Get the country firmly in the hands of unstable right wing religious zealots so they can do God's work? Ironic isn't it that you support war and the killing of innocent people by the thousands, yet rile at the thought of abortion. Don't you ever ask yourself why that paradox might cause a moral dilemma in an observer like me who watches your behavior from a distance and see through the hypocrisy of it all? Good night and Good luck Ashli...who ever you are...

PS) I just reread your last reply and I think I deserve answers to my "assumptions" about "YOUR POLITICS" and "YOUR RELIGION"...You know where I stand but you only offer up your disgust with the act of abortion and the more extreme abuses women endure under certain religious and cultural conditions both here and abroad. Transparency is the key to any communication and what I am getting from you is anything but that. Religion is dangerous and so is unchecked passion. Are you a supporter of the death penalty? The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? The use of lethal military force by this government to further its goals? Do you support torture of prisoners at the hands of Americans, and even murder in the name of "national security"? There is a list of prisoners that died during their stay under our care. Do those lives mean anything to you? No anger, just some straight answers is what I want...Abortion is about more than abortion. It strikes at the heart of differences between us, but is only one of a list of issues that needs clarity and vision and judgment to balance what an individuals true moral fiber is made of. What are you made of?

Me:
"when i try to centralize the issue, which is what my blog does, which is why you wrote me in the first place, you meander out into all available nether regions of the world's problems... and then assume that you know how i feel about them. plus your duplicity arguments are somewhat ad hominem. you know what they say about assuming... and you have done it a lot in our discourse. (point in case: no one helps me write my blog, etc.)

i care about you as a fellow, your feelings, your person and what. however, if it seems i am a bit blunt at times it is for wont of being understood. sometimes we exert more effort in being "sensitive" than we do in actually communicating a point. to be honest, swaddling the truth in pleasing vernacular has never really been my strong point. not even when i was a "choicer" like you. (especially not then! lol!)

so i say it again, i supported abortion for 25 years, so avidly that i fain attended rallies at my church (whose pastor was a lesbian), so avidly that i made all the flawed arguments that you are now making and voted for clinton on the single issue of abortion alone just to seal the deal, so avidly in fact, that my own child died in one. whoops; that was the day i stopped living in theory.

i was just like you once; i had no idea that what i was supporting (and doing) was discrimination, disenfranchisement, an horrific abuse of human rights, and just plain wrong. i thought i was the intellectual, compassionate one and all the lifers were a bunch of oversimplifying, religious fanatics trying to force their personal views on everyone else. i thought they were well intentioned but misguided for certain. you can't imagine my chagrin at finding that as a "choicer" i was the one who had been duped, that by supporting abortion i stood for everything i hated for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.

apparently, however, there was hope for me. and there's hope for you too. and i so value your potential and your humanity, and verily i AM glad you're here! but i think perhaps at this particular juncture you and i are at an intellectual/emotional impasse. i mean, we can't just go round and round like this endlessly; it serves no purpose other than vexation and as i've said before i've no interest in being a thorn in your side. we've said enough for the other to accept or reject or at least explore. i'm satisfied with that. and i really do wish you well.

ashli"

Him:
"First of all, I am not confused about where I stand or what I believe in or who I am. I am very secure in that. I just question the intensity of your emotion concerning this issue. Maybe it is exactly because you were such a strong supporter for 25 years that you had this horrific revelation that what you did and stood for for so long was morally repugnant and so you now hate yourself. I think I prefer the "old you" and not this new morphed version, but that is my opinion, surely and not yours. It has been interesting having this debate with you. I only wish I could walk away from our encounter with more a feeling that what transpired lead us both to a deeper understanding of the differences. Unfortunately that is not the case, and my sense is that no warmth or humanity was forthcoming from your side. Seems like only intense critism and vile sarcasim towards my liberal beliefs came out of your mouth...I am glad I don't carry that around inside me...I tried to connect to you but couldn't. Be that as it may, I too wish you well. This will be my last email to you. Peace and Love to you, my liberal and hippie mantra..."
-------------------------------------------------

I have so many comments, great arguments that I skipped right over for lack of knowing really where to begin with the myriad charges... alas, I did say that I wouldn't run commentary on this one but would let you deduce what you would. So I leave it to you to examine the dialogue and come to your own conclusions. Also, I generally find it especially civil to give the other party the last word as a courtesy, particularly when nothing will come of a response anyway.

I think that in the next series of debates with any future initiating abortion advocate, I am going to do less debating and more questioning. Perhaps a little "guided" exploration would be refreshing. I'm going to begin mulling this concept over presently, so if you have any ideas/question contributions, let me know. I think there should be a specific survey or set of questions for abortion advocates who identify themselves as Christians, a list for secular liberals, etc. This is more along the lines of what I'm visualizing, so put on your thinking cap and shoot me an email.

:: ashli 9:02 PM # ::
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