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my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Sunday, August 17, 2003 ::

Abortion: Woman against woman... for women!

The author of "The Myth..." wrote back saying that she couldn't respond because I am being "completely irrational." I "haven't responded appropriately or logically to anything" and my "answers are close to gibberish", so she deemed the conversation "pointless to continue".

She gives me some of her abortion-supporting papers to read but adds that she fears it won't help, because I "appear to be too far gone". She goes on to say I'm "incapable of listening to or understanding" any view that differs from my own, particularly the "pro-choice" view. She expresses that I'm a "good fascist" and advises me that it's a "very dangerous road to go down"
(A thinly veiled threat?)

The writer implores me to be like her and "take responsibility for your abortion". In another reference to terrorism, I am informed that my abortion-related "anger and insecurity feeds fanaticism and terrorism". Finally, in what has become the tactical "ace up the sleeve" of every "at-a-loss" abortion-supporter she recommends that I "get a life" and "seek professional help". When I hear those magic words I am somehow overcome with pity for the utterer. S/he's standing there with nothing; it's all s/he has left. And when the speaker is a female abortion supporter who has a SICLE... well you have to understand how threatening she deems the information.

Let's sort out a response. She fancies herself a writer; there were lots of very snappy comebacks I could have made re: responsibility, journalistic integrity and terrorism just to name a few. But it serves no purpose, and we're talking about a woman who has lost a child in an abortion and is dealing with it by helping others experience the same thing. We are talking about a mother who is hurting and thinks embracing the pain means embracing abortion.

Is it more important that I lob a few zingers her way to score a punitive point for "our side"? Is it the point that counts or the woman? Isn't it more important that I let her know I care about her pain?

Feminism 101.

For those of you who were spinning your gears for a good lambaste, you and I are learning to be compassionate together. (I know... it's disappointing, because I really am a terrific pig when I want to be.) However, for those of you who know how to act and understand/appreciate the vale of not repaying cruelty with cruelty, this one's for you.

My response:

"I am sorry for the loss of your child. You deserved better.

I confuse you but Serrin is an articulate woman who really says it all:


May you receive tremendous amounts of genuine compassion.


And the best, most wacky, weird and wild part is... I meant every word.

Don't look now, but I think I might be growing up.

:: ashli 9:08 PM # ::

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