:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

:: Thursday, March 31, 2005 ::

Terrible news today.

:: ashli 12:38 PM # ::
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Did you get your T-shirt yet?



For only $5 you too can risk being assaulted!
What a bargain!

:: ashli 9:14 AM # ::
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Many Republicans want Terri Schiavo's husband's guardianship revoked. Some Democrats have lambasted said Republicans charging that it makes them hypocrites. This, I think, is somewhat an allusion to the whole sanctity of marriage/anti-gay marriage platform Republicans generally stand on.

While Democrats cry "Sanctity of marriage!" in the Schiavo case, many Republicans (who are aware of Mike's common-law wife and two children) are asking, "What marriage?"

:: ashli 1:25 PM # ::
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Major news network personalities keep asking why, if Terri Schiavo, on March 18, really tried to say she wanted to live, Barbara Weller is only just coming out with the incident.

Perhaps this will help.

:: ashli 1:03 AM # ::
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Speechless.

:: ashli 10:31 AM # ::
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10 Talking Points On The Schiavo Case

1. There is no way to know whether or not Terri Schiavo gave a verbal advance directive to her husband.
2. There is no way to know whether or not she wants to die now.
3. There is no way to know whether or not Terri does or does not feel pain, and therefore no way to know whether death by starvation/dehydration is painful to her.
4. There is no way to know whether or not Michael Schiavo's motivations are sinister or compassionate, whether he is cruel or simply misguided. There are multiple conflicting reports.
5. Our nation has set up a legal system to deal with matters of life and death and multiple conflicting reports.
6. The judiciary did its job.
7. The situation is now a matter of ethics.
8. Michael Schiavo believes that Terri is not aware of physical or emotional sensation or anything.
9. A person who is not aware of anything has no misery to be "put out of".
10. Michael Schiavo, who has moved on with his personal, romantic life, could exercise compassion on Terri's parents and siblings who are physically and emotionally aware, who are in misery over the situation, and who want to care for Terri for the rest of her life.

My opinion:
Michael Schiavo should give Terri back to the two people who brought her into this world.

:: ashli 8:55 AM # ::
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Getting ready to go and bleed in front of the committee at the Capitol. In mentally preparing, I poured myself a cup of gano-coffee and sat down for a cyber look at the latest news surrounding Terri Schiavo.

All I can say is that I am sickened and appalled. I am sincerely tired of hearing about "Terri's wishes to die" when there is no proof that she wishes or ever wished anything of the sort. In fact, there is some evidence that she does NOT want to die.

I am dismayed at a public who cares more about a judicial process than they do about Terri or her parents. There is less respect for Terri than there is for the umpteen trials she has been through. It would not matter to me if 100 trials honored the hearsay of Michael Schiavo. I see how the courts have honored and continue to honor and even revere the deaths of around 4,000 gestating Americans every single day in this country. It's the new millennium but we are still the same old barbarians.

What is happening to Terri is just another example, a confirmation, of the new world order, an order in which you must prove your value. Being a living human being is not enough, and being vulnerable is deadly.

Can you imagine what the Schindlers must be going through? Not only do they sit powerless as the courts pave the way for their child's death by starvation... but the so-called "silent majority" is cheering.

Once again killing a helpless human being is trumpeted as an issue of "privacy".

For the love of God, people, have your children complete an advance directive or have them fill out a document that establishes you as the proxy should they become incapacitated.

:: ashli 6:45 AM # ::
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Going to the Capitol tomorrow to testify for the Women's Health and Safety Act. I am certain that I'm going to have a tale to tell when I return.

They've tweaked my testimony a bit:

"My name is Ashli ******, and exactly eight years ago my husband and I lost our first child in a second-trimester abortion at Orlando Women’s Center due to a severe debilitating pregnancy-related maternal illness.

At 4 months pregnant, my HMO and physicians deserted me leaving me to deal with a slew of medical problems, among them: liver dysfunction and serious metabolic disturbance. Treatment options existed, but they were not divulged and so were not available to me. I finally gave up and traveled to a second trimester abortion facility where everyone called me “sweetie” before lying to me about fetal development and killing my child. To their credit, I signed papers that told me I might suffer emotionally, that abortion has been linked to breast cancer, and that I might die. These papers even called me a mother, but this kind of keen accuracy was not extended to the record, which omitted the hemorrhage I experienced afterwards. My record also doesn’t list the name of the hospital I was sent to because we were instructed to go to a hotel until it was clear that I was out of danger. We complied and went to the hotel to see if I would live through the night or bleed to death in the tub.

When I later received a copy of my records from the abortion facility, I was shocked to discover that they did not accurately reflect the events of that evening. The people at the facility recorded that immediately following a second trimester abortion my bleeding was “scant” and then “none”. I bled for months. My record also states the abortion was “without complication”.

A year later I was told that I had an incompetent cervix. This resulted in 24 related weeks of strict bedrest with my son and as many weeks with my daughter. I did not have an incompetent cervix in my first pregnancy; it was sustained in the second-trimester D&E. I believe medical records should reflect a true account of what occurs in a procedure, because such information may prove vital in an individual’s medical future and because it’s the truth. I believe women who are hemorrhaging bad enough to refrain from returning to their home should not be told to go to a hotel and wait it out.

I filed a complaint (#200009135) with the AHCA, but they didn’t want anything to do with it. In one conversation Ms. Sandy Condo could not even bring herself to say the word “abortion”. The experts admitted that heavy bleeding is not at all uncommon in a second trimester abortion but said it was my word against the abortionist’s and they closed the case review. I had it reopened, but to date have had no satisfying response or action.

Since my ordeal, I have reviewed statutes and codes and I am shocked that abortion clinics have virtually no health and safety regulations. It is a well-known fact that the danger related to abortion grows as a pregnancy advances. I am incredulous that reaching deep into a woman’s body and pulling out organs (which the placenta is) is not considered surgery and thus, such a procedure does not warrant the same high standard of health care as an ambulatory surgery center. Finally, I am disgusted that a veterinarian’s office is more regulated than an abortion facility. That a dog would receive better health care than a woman is as abhorrent as me having to stand here and argue that very point.

Abortion may be legal, but without more stringent health regulations it will never be safe."

People are already thanking me profusely for something I would pay to do (but DO NOT at all want to do). And accolaids are really weird (and hard to take) when you're standing there confessing to the world that you slaughtered your child in the second trimester.

Ugh.

Here we go again.

:: ashli 9:11 PM # ::
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This story, "Little Hercules", (also available on the fan for Comcast users) illustrates the point that childhood can be horrific, yet kids can still end up as decent, happy people.

:: ashli 12:47 AM # ::
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They pulled the tube. Terri is dying.

"ATTORNEY BARBARA WELLER TOLD TERRI THAT THEY WERE GOING TO REMOVE HER FEEDING TUBE , TERRI BEGAN TO CRY AND TRIED TO SAY 'I WANT TO LIVE' ATTORNEY WELLER SAID SHE HAD A DIFFICULT TIME CALMING TERRI DOWN."

I have it from a well-trusted source that if Barb Weller said it, it's true.

My dad was a professor at Florida State University and taught and worked in the field of developmental health and rehabilitation. I worked with non-ambulatory students for a semester. Some of my students didn't have some of Terri's abilities, such as the ability to even vocalize. Even so, in Florida they are treated as citizens and have the right to an education, and they are in the public schools, albeit in their own classroom.

I'm upset about the whole thing with Terri, but I'm acutely troubled about her reaction to the news that she is being killed. If she can't form the words, for lack of rehabilitation or lack of ability, but she is crying out in the only way she knows how... and no one will listen... oh my.

Surround Terri's hospice. Call your senators. It is not too late... yet.

:: ashli 7:04 PM # ::
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Emily has begun a fascinating series on "pro-lifers" who have lost children by abortion anyway. As an abortion-opposing mom, I will be glued to my monitor in hopes of gleaning tips on how to help my children, the next generation, avoid the abortion tragedy. IMHO, right about now, Em's blog is the most interesting thing on the Net. Do not miss this series.

I made a recent comment in response to a reader over there, but I kind of felt the whole discourse was important, so I'm reposting it here.

The reader knew that they had killed their children (via abortion) but reasoned that life would have been hell for those kids so they were better off dead. I.E., abortion had been necessary, the lesser of two "evils", good even.

I don't mean to single the person out, because it's a fairly common sentiment, and I certainly understand the logic, or at least the comfort it can bring. The only problem I have with it is that it just doesn't work.

Not really...

"i had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE childhood. i'm also glad that my mother didn't kill me, because my horrible, horrible childhood is OVER. and life was pretty danged good... until abortion. without abortion, life could have been something entirely different. (it was really going GREAT before.)

i overcame my childhood. i think there's something to be said about enduring a lot of hardship and heartache in youth... that kind of life sucks to be sure, but it is not without its opportunity. the worst kind of crap can be the best kind of fertilizer, baby. people can really grow, come out on top, and be a damn site more than they ever would have been had they been born into a sweet little, buttoned-up, "cleaver" family.

i know it comforts you to think that you have spared your children so much pain... i'm not after your comfort. there isn't anything i can say to change your situation, or really even your mind; i'm not after anything.

but the truth is... had your kids been given life, that is, had they not been killed, they would have had the chance at a good and happy life in spite of the horrible crap they would have had to go through in their youth.

one thing about the human spirit: it can be mighty indomitable.

'lives of great men all remind us we might MAKE our lives sublime.'

some of us, in youth, roll with the punches quite literally, yet on our own make our lives sublime. conversely, some of us have the best childhood ever... and grow up to be the worst kind of bastard.

none of us is psychic; the future of a child must reveal itself.

as it is, abortion leaves each of us with a giant question mark. none can fully know what they hell they spared their child or what heaven they took away. we can only guess, and there isn't much real comfort in that."

:: ashli 9:56 PM # ::
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Going through something lately. Think it was triggered by sending the book off to the publisher. Dunno. It's a little weird even for me. Lots of desperation, flashbacks, moments of horrible reality. Depression is camping out on my doorstep. ("How can you tell?") Haha, very funny. Yeah, I know I'm secretly sad all the time. Still... this is different. More in-my-face. Every flippin' moment of the day it's vaseline glass in a blacklight setting, and nothing can touch it. Always on, live at 5. Not even kidding myself that everything is fine. It's not. An unspeakable horror took place and I can't get away from it.

Some of the old feelings resurface while driving... hey, telephone pole, you're lookin' mighty inviting today! Ridiculous. I am NOT going to end up a crumpled wad of biology on the side of the road. I REFUSE.

Wait... did I just say "I am NOT going to end up a crumpled wad of biology"???
(Sinking.)

Bother.

I found myself on the kitchen floor last night, after the kids had gone to bed, listening to the same song over and over again for about an hour or so. I really felt like a good cry. I can't remember the last time I deluged. But I didn't. I just sucked and listened obsessively to the song.

There are moments like these.

:: ashli 7:17 PM # ::
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Julie, at Silent Rain Drops, has an excellent post about incrementally coming out of denial. She quotes a grieving father:

“He won't be lying on the grass by the tent at night looking at the starry sky and saying, ‘What's that one called, Dad?’ Because there was no room on the Earth for Thomas. He's dead.”

Julie concludes:

"Abortion is all of the things I have said it is. It is abuse. It is the most violent action taken against women in thousands of years of human existence. It is the destruction of fatherhood. It is a punishment for those who live in poverty. But above all of these things, I must remember that abortion – my choice - killed an innocent human being who had every right to be born, and who had every right to expect me to see to it that he was. I am his mother. There was more than enough room for him on earth, but he is dead."

It chokes me up. The nasal sting signifies the letdown of coming tears. The lump in my throat expands in an effort to cut them off. I hold my breath. I realize that even now I am in denial. "My child is dead." Like walking into a steel pole, it's a major intrusion. BOING! "Oh yeah... It happened." It's really, really real.

Suck it up. Suck it up and hold it in. Because dinner needs to be made, two living children need to be bathed and life, like a wave, rolls over death and sorrow with the sweet numbness of its myriad demands.

Denial... it saves my life daily.

:: ashli 5:48 PM # ::
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Texas Children's Hospital greases the slope.

"Now I know there's no such thing as God. The Sun above, that's what's been helping me."

Terribly, terribly sad.

"The truth of God's love is not that he allows bad things to happen. It's His promise that He'll be here with us when they do." -Love Comes Softly 2003

(A nod to the reader who sent me the story about Sun.)

:: ashli 5:01 PM # ::
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A couple things...

Item 1:
Jim and Naaman were talking about this post over at Premature Terminal Delivery and Naaman the Ex-Leper.

I too felt a little conflicted when I read it. On the one hand, the little girl needs lots of help, I would like to see her get that help, and I don't have a problem with restitution from the entities that victimized her leaving her permanently disabled. On the other hand, the key word is "entitIES". It's pluralized, because, like me, Julie's mother personally and purposefully delivered her child into the hands of death.

The plantiff is listed as a "guardian de son tort of the property of Little Julie", so I'm not so sure her mother is the one who initiated the case. At any rate, Julie's mother and the abortionist owe that child financial assistance for the rest of her life, and there's no court ruling in the world that will ever convince me otherwise. They caused Julie's physical challenges, and they should do everything within their power to make her as comfortable as possible.

I think I would be more worried about this case (and the affect it had on abortionists and children who survive abortion) if I really believed that most abortionists seek medical attention for the children who survive. Instead, I believe that most abortionists merely drown or expose the children to death. I've heard former clinic workers talk of how they treat little survivors. One spoke of the muffled wails of children coming from the freezer. Lovely. So I'm not sure cases like Julie's are going to cause a rash of infant deaths at abortion facilities everywhere. Abortionists already have that covered.

We've gotten ourselves into a bit of a fix with all of this unethic, wouldn't you say? And those who suffer the most are the vulnerable innocent. It's enough to make you want to take a nice Nestea Plunge into the Grand Canyon.

Thanks, guys, for good dialogue on the post.

Item 2:
I spent the day at the capitol attending the House Judiciary Committee's hearing on HB701, a law that would, if enacted, require an advance directive signed by an individual before life support could be withdrawn. It has the potential of helping countless disabled Americans, including Terri Schiavo. IMHO, HB701 is just common sense.

There is a possibility that Mike Schiavo loves Terri dearly and that his motivation to starve her to death stems from the tender consideration of a long-ago verbal advance directive from Terri. There is also a possibility that Mike Schiavo put Terri in the situation that she is in today and does not want her to regain the ability to communicate that to anyone.

My point is, if there is even the remote possibility that a proxy's motivations are sinister, then we should err on the side of caution. And this whole "I wouldn't want to be in Terri's position, therefore she couldn't possibly want to live" simply won't do.

I'll be candid here and admit that when I was ailing in my pregnancy with Elise, and I was in tremendous physical discomfort, I told my husband that I would not want to be kept alive if I had to live the rest of my life that way. He disagreed, and so I filled out an advanced directive so as not to be thwarted if it came to that. My husband then asked me if I could make a decision now, in a position I'm not in, for a position I might be in much later. Would I be the same person with the same desires? Would it be the same type of illness, i.e., would I be in constant pain or would I be disabled with pain I could manage? Would there be a chance for recovery? How would the children feel if I didn't give myself a fighting chance? There was so much to think about, and I'll be honest, I haven't had my advance directive placed in my official medical file. It's something I'm still mulling over. It's something I need to get around to while I still have the opportunity.

To make a long story short, there were a ton of people who testified, and the bill ultimately passed the House. Now it goes somewhere else to be considered and voted on again, and then I think it goes through one other hoop. Would love to see this help Terri before her tube is yanked on Friday.

To make a short story long, one of the women who testified was partially paralyzed and had been in a "persistent vegetative state" like Terri, only she couldn't even open her eyes. She said she was aware of everything and heard the doctors telling her family that it would be better for all involved if she were "allowed to die". Her parents, though they love her, agreed with the doctors and were set firmly against her husband who would not give up on his wife, the mother of their two children (the youngest being 18 months at the time). The physicians, feeling that she was not aware, evidently had issues with anesthesia, or even inserted the gastrostomy without it, because she described feeling every moment of the procedure and the excruciating pain of it. She was aware but trapped insider her body, as she described it. Her husband demanded all available therapies, and she is here today. She is beautiful, vibrant and alive.

Another woman got up and spoke with disdain about the "artificial feedings" that her geriatric patients would have to endure if this bill passes into law. She described one 91-year-old stroke victim as being in a persistent vegetative state and yet this law would require that the patient would have to endure a feeding tube, which she claimed would cause a barrage of other problems such as bed sores and infections. In addition, she described the feeding solutions as "clear" and "white" and "disgusting". Being that I've been on feeding solution via a tube, some clear and some white, I can honestly say there was nothing "disgusting" about it. Well, ok, the white stuff kinda grossed me out a little but only because it looked like milk, and I was a hyperpuker; anything that remotely reminded me of food was puke-inducing. Milk does not disgust me now, and other than looking like milk, my formula was not disgusting. And acutally, it's a beautiful thing to anyone who needs it to live.

Everyone was using the term: "artificial feedings". This really bothered me. Tube feedings aren't "artificial". They're very real and they keep a patient really alive. I have never heard a physician refer to them as "artificial feedings", nor have I seen that term in medical literature. Instead, the feedings are referred to as "alternative nutrition" or "par/enteral feedings". I have also seen "supplemental nutrition" or "supplemental feedings", but never "artificial feedings". I felt like the use of the term was a result of a concerted effort to portray the errant idea that extraordinary measures are being taken to keep Terri alive. But a gastrostomy is not a heart/lung machine. It's an alternative method of feeding, and lots of people live this way. So what if it uses formula? Babies can only metabolize formula. Does this make them inhuman? (Don't ask Peter Singer.)

Anyway, the whole point is moot with Terri. The woman has been swallowing her own spit for ages. If she is swallowing her own spit she ought to be afforded the opportunity to try and swallow food, but Mike has not allowed this and Judge Greer just ruled that no one has to.

Everyone had their arguments. I just offered a line of questions that went something like this:

"I love my husband very much and don't suspect that he is having an affair... but what if he was? And what if something like this happened to me? What if my death were convenient and my husband told physicians that I had said I wanted to die even if I really didn't? What if he lied? How would the state of Florida protect me in that situation?"

I also got into an argument with a reporter for CBS. He did this nasty little intro 3 times, and with each take it got more and more punative. Eyes would roll here and "for cryin' out loud" was added there, all to paint a picture of one disgusted liberal reporter. It went a little like this:

reporter: (shaking head) "I'll bet a lot of you are doing the same thing I'm doing right now. Picture this: You're at the breakfast table with your family and you tell them, 'Hey, if what happened to Terri ever happens to me then pull the plug for cryin' out loud!' Well, if this law passes, that conversation won't mean a thing."

When he was done with the third take, he asked my 6-year-old how he did. My kid smiled big and said, "Great!" This cheesed me off; leave my kid out of it. I asked the reporter, off camera, "So, are you going to run right out and get your advance directive in writing?" He said he was. I said, "Good. I think everyone should have to do this so that their fate will be up to them and no one else." With a sly look the reporter nearly winked as he said, "Yeah, but c'mon! Only 10% of the population is as smart as you and I; Most people don't even know about advanced directives." I ignored the offensive statement, refrained from asking him to cite his numbers, and asked him, "What about women in bad marriages? What about the guy who doesn't like his disabled wife and wants her to die even though she would prefer not to?"

His educated answer? Drum roll, please...

"Well, they shouldda got a divorce then!"

My mouth hung open. (You heard it right here, folks. If you're having marriage trouble just run right out and get a divorce. Don't hang in there and try to make it work or you're just asking to be starved to death if some ill befalls you.)

I said, "There are a lot of people in bad situations out there; relying on them to get a divorce isn't the answer. We've got to come up with laws that protect everyone, not just a few."

If education is a problem, the answer is not to jeopardize the safety of the ignorant, but to educate all. For example, one of the possibilities suggested was distribute the information/form along with drivers licenses. The DMV is already asking us to be organ donors. They even put our organ donor status on our licenses. This is not an impossibility.

HB701 protects everyone who writes their wishes out on a slip of paper. When we can't rely on everyone to be truthful and compassionately motivated, the written, advance directive is the only thing that makes sense.

:: ashli 8:30 PM # ::
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Patte had one of her tremedously interesting (and heartbreaking) updates a while back. I need to post it soon.

First, I want to mention this. Cheap T-shirts, baby, and you know how I feel about T-shirts. (God help me, I am so 70's.) Buy one for a fiver and wear it next month on the 26th. Not only will they help with awareness, but they carry the added bonus of cheesing off abortion advocates everywhere. (Ahhhh!) The campaign targets the youth of today, but it's technically for everyone, and you're only as old as your fake I.D. says you are.

Nnn-K, now that we've talked T-shirts let's move on the ABC link and ganoderma.

I believe in the ABC link. A comprehensive review of the literature shows that it's good science. (To reach the research, you'll have to scroll down, click on "Biological Explanation" and then "ABC Research")

So, I have this friend. She is always cooking up ways to make moolah, and her latest scheme is the ganoderma kick. Evidently, this stuff comes from shrooms (not those kind of shrooms, people), and it's supposed to be good for you. I wanted to be a pal, and I bought a box of cocoa and a box of coffee, both chock full 'o ganoderma.

I'm drinking this stuff, so I got a little curious and looked it up. Found some interesting info on breast cancer cells and ganoderma. I'm not making any claims here, but it is intriguing. Therefore, since I'm obviously at risk for breast cancer, I think I'm going to keep buying the cocoa and coffee. It tastes really good if nothing else.

I'm not going to post a link to the brand, because I'm not really into product-pimping. However, it's very easy for any interested party to do a yahoo search and find all the gano goods their little heart desires.

Food for thought.

I thought today was the 12th, and I missed the rally for Terri Schiavo at the capitol in Tallahassee. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite: "IDIOT!" Therefore I'm going to make a point of dragging two young children down to the capitol tomorrow for the committee meeting on HB 701, a law that would, if passed, help Terri and others like her. Can't wait to get my hot little hands on the request form... SWEET!

:: ashli 6:34 PM # ::
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A million bucks, Mike.
Just walk away.

:: ashli 9:59 AM # ::
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Abortion description to follow.
Abortion ain't pretty.
The truth about abortion has a tendency to keep us from being complacent.
If you want to cover your eyes,
TURN BACK NOW.

From Patte:

Aborted Baby Born Alive!

On November 15, 2001 20 year old Carla Hobard (not her real name) arrived at Orlando Women’s Center (OWC) abortion clinic. She knew that she was already half way through her pregnancy. She could feel her infant wiggling inside her belly. Carla wanted to abort the baby who was living and moving inside her.

The clinic assessed Carla to be 22.3 weeks pregnant. OWC employee Ms Clerveau assisted Carla with all of the paper work necessary for killing the baby. One form was entitled "Informed Consent for Induction of Labor with Prostin". This document explained:

"The prostaglandin tablets will be inserted into your vagina by your Doctor. The only discomfort that you will experience is similar to a normal pelvic exam. During the evening you will experience mild uterine cramps and some slight vaginal bleeding. You will be given medication that will help to decrease the discomfort. There is a small chance tht you could experience some mild nausea, vomiting, fever or diarrhea. There have been raree events of a sudden increase of blood pressure and death has been reported with prostaglandin use. … You must keep in mind that having a termination procedure is much safer than delivering a baby at full term …The majority of women deliver within 16 hours of the first insertion of prostaglandin E1 into the vagina. 90% of women deliver in the first 24 hours and 100% by 38 hours. After the passage of the fetus, you will be given more intravenous sedations … You will then go to the recovery room and may be sent home within 45-60 minutes. If the fetus has not passed within 20-24 hours, the Doctor will examine you vaginally and determine whether another procedure(s) needs to be performed to complete the termination."

Carla signed.

Ms Clerveau handed Carla another paper: "Informed Consent for Amniocentesis and Fetal Injection of Digoxin". This document included the following explanation:

Instillation of different medications into the amniotic cavity have been performed for many years throughout the world to induce termination in the second trimester (17-24 weeks). No one knows the entire mechanisms of how these medications work to induce uterine contractions … Digoxin is a medication that is commonly used for patients who have rapid heart beats …It is also used to slow the fetal heart down in-utero (fetus inside your uterus). After injection of a high enough dose of Digoxin into the fetus, the heart will stop beating. …This assures that the fetus will not be born alive, and makes the termination a safer procedure … The Digoxin (.25mg) is injected into the fetus by a spinal needle (thin needle) which passes through your abdomen. The ultrasound will be used to guide the needle to the appropriate position.

Carla signed this paper.

Carla’s labor was induced. Beginning at 1:30pm Carla was given 200 mg of Cytotec every hour. The medication did was it was supposed to do. Carla felt the contractions. They were getting stronger and stronger. Carla was upset and she wanted something for the pain. When the OWC medical assistants Tanya S and Janet R continued to refuse to give Carla any pain meds, she was infuriated. At 1am, in active labor, drove herself home and called 911.

Paramedics brought her to Labor & Delivery at Arnold Palmer Hospital. Carla delivered a beautiful baby girl.

ALIVE.

Little Julie Hobard (not her real name) was only 1 lb 6 oz, when she was born. The neonatal resuscitation guidebook (authored by the American Heart Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics), states that babies should be considered candidates for resuscitation if they are 23 weeks OR 1lb. Little Julie was given medical care. As Carla watched her baby fight for life, she was horrified at what she had done to her daughter and wept with guilt and shame.

Little Julie survived. She is over 3 years old. Her mother Carla cares for her as best she can.
In May of 2004 a civil action lawsuit was filed in Orlando’s Orange County circuit court against abortionist Randall B Whitney (the on call abortionist) and abortionist James Scott Pendergraft (owner of Orlando Women’s Center). Case number 04 -CA-1202. The plaintiff is a guardian de son tort of the property of Little Julie the "incapacitated minor". As a result of her mother’s attempted murder by abortion and the cooperation of OWC, Little Julie’s extremely premature birth resulted in permanent injuries including:
cerebral palsy
loss of function on left side of her body
strokes/brain damage
physical, emotional and cognitive delays
lung damage and chronic lung disease
seizure disorder

The suit demands financial restitution so that Carla can properly care for her precious Little Julie.

There are a few important questions to ask here:

What happens to all the other little babies like Little Julie Hobard?
Labor-and-delivery with Cytotec is the method of abortion from 16 weeks through the end of pregnancy at Orlando Women’s Center. Every Thursday women arrive at 1103 Lucerne Terrace at 9am to have their babies murdered by premature delivery abortion.
What would have happened if Little Julie had been delivered at OWC instead of APH?
Since Julie was alive when she was born, would OWC have provided the tiny girl with medical care?

The answer is: NO.

Tricia Marlena Feldman had an abortion at 19 weeks gestation at Orlando Women’s Center. After she delivered her baby into the toilet, she saw him moving. She cried out and the medical staff told her to be quiet. No medical care was given to Ms. Feldman’s infant. The tiny infant was simply left to drown in the toilet.

Most of the women having labor-and-delivery abortions are encouraged to deliver into the toilet. Would the staff at OWC abortion clinic have scooped Little Julie out of the toilet and called 911?

The shocking fact remains that there are no laws in the state of Florida protecting viable infants (those who, with proper care, can survive outside the womb) from abortion in the second trimester of pregnancy.

And what about third trimester abortions? Should women and abortionists be allowed to murder viable infants? Is it moral to murder these viable infants? If these third trimester babies (25 weeks to full term) survive the abortion, what system is in place to assure that these vulnerable infants are treated as persons and given medical care? They are being delivered in the toilets of abortion clinics! Do we really expect that the abortionist and the staff are going to try and rescue these born-alive infants? Are they really interested in highlighting their business "failures"?

Isn’t it about time that we as a nation made the heinous late-term abortion ILLEGAL?

:: ashli 7:28 PM # ::
...

I took it personally. I was dissatisfied.

Totally a personal problem.

I suppose I didn't give her enough credit. I'm so snippy anymore, so over "pro-choice" B.S.

But I know...

Waking from a deep sleep hurts. Light can be blinding. For a time, tender eyes remain half-shut.

I kind of feel like a heel for not reacting with more support and faith in the process.

No flies with vinegar.
But honey has never been my forte.

Disappointed in myself.
My public apology.

:: ashli 5:23 PM # ::
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Kinda cool country-rock "pro-life" song.
Watch the video here.
(I'm faklempt!)

:: ashli 1:21 AM # ::
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Oh, INDEED.

:: ashli 12:01 AM # ::
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So far there have been 1,500 U.S. military casualties in the war.

By the end of today there will have been around 4,000 U.S. casualties in the womb.

:: ashli 11:41 PM # ::
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We can talk until we're blue in the face,
but some people will never get the picture.
...

:: ashli 9:42 PM # ::
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I kind of went monkeynuts in the comment section on Ambivablogger's numero dos. What can I say? I told you people I'm frickin' exhausted!

Sigh...

Preface: Ambi's whole thing is that the key to undoing abortion is that we've got to make it culturally unacceptable... to the devil with making it illegal. (She aborted her own child in the first trimester and, although grieving, feels that first trimester abortion is acceptable... unlike abortion after that magical point.) My whole thing, on the other hand, is that we can't send a "cultural" message while keeping it legal. It's like I said before:

"we can't promote [the idea] that abortion is an horrific abuse of civil rights while at the same time keeping it legal. it would make us barbarians: 'killing a child is a bad, bad thing... but we allow it.'"

It just doesn't make sense, and I said so, albeit kind of incoherently, in Ambi's comment section (which I haven't checked and probably won't, because I don't have time to answer what is sure to be an impressive barrage of electric orange flames).

So Ambi writes and tells me I'm absurd when I reason that the legality of abortion says it's a good thing. At least not as bad as rape. she also says that my kind of "abortion is bad" absolutism won't appeal to many "pro-choicers". I mull it all over and respond:

"been thinkin about it and it WAS kinda dumb to say abortion is GOOD if it's legal. heehee! what i suppose i meant was it's "moral". at least, it's more moral than rape... or rape is clearly a bad thing or worse than abortion, because it is illegal. abortion is legal so it's at least more tolerable than rape. rape, the government sends the message, is a bad, bad thing that will NOT be tolerated... but abortion? well, hey... you gotta do what you gotta do. nevermind that you're victimizing someone else. do NOT cloud the issue with facts.

am i making myself any more clear than before? sigh... it's late and i'm always tired anymore. sigh again...

i was very, VERY much in support of abortion for 25 years. so much so that i had bumper stickers, attended rallies at my abortion-loving church, and aborted my own child in the second trimester (what you might consider more reprehensible than your own first trimester loss... yours occurring, afterall, in the "acceptable" time range).

there was nothing anyone ever could have told me that would have changed my mind i think. i talked to quite a few people about it. i thought as you think: it's ok in the first trimester, but after that... we'll something should certainly be done to prohibit that.

now i'm not making commentary on you here, but my reason didn't have anything to do with a child attaching him/herself to the uterine lining or any such rationalization. to me that's just inconsequential. no, the cut and dry of it was that it was ok in the first trimester because that type of person was small. walnut-small. him/herself inconsequential. in short: i didn't care. just a little more serious than squishing a bug. more like killing a mouse. the kid would be better off. that sort of thing. oh, I'D never do it, no. but you know, screw you if you wanted to. i'd even hold your hand from start to finish. what a gal i was! WHAT-A-GAL!

nope, you can't say anything to some people. there is no turn of phrase, no harvard strategy, no cunning that will ever, ever change a hardened heart, a mind made up. sometimes a person has to be changed from the inside out. and for me, that happened when an abortionist and i tore what was inside of me out.

ping!

i had to lose everything to find out.

some people do."

And even reprinting it, here at nearly 1 A.M., I'm thinking I'm still not conveying my thoughts properly. Of course I'm not saying abortion is good or moral. I'm making commentary on the message the government sends by making it legal and keeping it that way no matter what evidence exists to support the humanity of the gestating.

The legality of abortion is cruel nonsense. I can't even believe I live in an era where I have to argue that it's not cool to kill a growing child. But apparently this is the Twilight Zone, and I'm stuck in it for the duration.

:: ashli 12:20 PM # ::
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Korea!

(Grrrrrr!!!)

:: ashli 1:43 PM # ::
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You have no idea how many drafts I've begun and not finished here at the Cell. I'm sorry. I'm sucking lately. I just don't have time. Isn't that lame? But seriously, I don't.

Driving in the car I've had a million moments of clarity and even an epiphany or two... all things I immediately wanted to blog. "I've gotta write this down," I'd say to myself while zooming down the interstate at 70 mph. "This is pull-over worthy!" And something monumental would happen, like a good song on the radio, and all was forgotten by the time the chorus rolled around.

It's like that lately.

I know you guys are sick of hearing about the confounded book I'm writing. I've been finished probably 50 times. I've been done with the edits as many times. Buuuut... Guess what. I'm editing again. Checking citations, leaving no t's uncrossed, no i's undotted. People believe in me and have lent their names to this monster; I can't let them down now. It's time consuming, work intensive... a love affair complete and total.

I'm going to shout for joy when I'm done... really, really done. And in the afterglow, when I realize what it means for me and Tennessee, I'll dissolve, a bruised forget-me-not, in a puddle on the floor. But I don't want to think of that now. I still have something. I'm still doing something. The embrace lingers for a moment more. "I love you, I love you..."

I'm no fool. I know I'm grabbing at straws. But straws are all I have, and so I weave them through my fingers. I'm falling apart, you know, so I lace myself up with the silk of time and love and all the words I've spent.

There is nothing else.

:: ashli 5:25 PM # ::
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