:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Friday, September 12, 2008 ::

Typically, I am a late sleeper. I never like to wake before the sky is filled with light. But I have a new responsibility that requires me to get up at 6AM on Fridays. It fills me with anxiety. In the black silence I repeat to myself that my heart belongs to God and my feet now travel to do His will. I tell me that I must live in the truth of the present and not in the horror of the past.

Eleven years ago I arose before the sun that I might travel 4 hours away and kill my child in a second trimester abortion. God washed me clean of that yet darkness' tattoo is upon me.

Like my child hopelessly lost to abortion, I will never escape.

:: ashli 6:40 AM # ::

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