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my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Friday, September 17, 2004 ::

Bad, horrible, terrible, teeth-gnashing news regarding the cancer mom who refused to abort her daughter at 5 months:

"I wanted to let you know that the doctors at Moffitt Hospital in Tampa found a tumor on ***'s brain on Wednesday evening. She has had severe problems this week…temporary blindness, inability to speak or walk. She will be going through radiation therapy for 17 days beginning today. However, when her husband pressed the doctor for a realistic prognosis, she told him that she only gives *** a few months to live. She encouraged [the husband] to help get his wife's things in order and to prepare for what’s ahead. [The cancer-fighting couple] are both very discouraged and scared, although they want to trust God through all this. Please keep them in your prayers.

Also, I want to try to put together some kind of a get-away for them and the children (4 and 1 ½) in about a month…do any of you know what the organizations are that do this kind of thing for terminally ill patients and their families?

Also, please keep the children in your prayers, especially [the 4-year-old boy]. I’ve been keeping them this week while [the cancer-fighting couple] are in Tampa, and he is just out of control! I can’t even imagine what goes on in his little head…he just knows “Mommy is sick” but there’s so much turmoil in his life, not the least of which are weekly, sometimes daily, drives to Tampa…2 hours each way and hours of waiting in doctor offices and hospitals.

I love this little guy so much, but he is very difficult to care for right now (think “Hurricane Ivan”). [The baby girl who doctors wanted to abort at 5 months] is a sweet little toddler who is getting into everything! (I’m going to run to the thrift store this weekend and get some BABY TOYS!!!!) Anyway, please pray for our family as we attempt to serve [the cancer-fighting couple] in the days and weeks ahead in the area of babysitting. (I don’t want to be a martyr; I want to serve with joy…please pray for my heart.)

Thank you for your love and friendship, and your prayers for this sweet family. I will keep you informed. May God bless you all."

This is heartbreaking. I'm beside myself.

I just want to say that in writing a book on medical illness during pregnancy, I came across PLENTY of case studies of women who had cancer during pregnancy. Some were advised to abort late into pregnancy and did. Some of those moms died anyway, and so no one was spared. The children were always healthy and fine prior to being aborted, and it occurs to me that one life would have been better than none.

I don't say this to be callous. God knows I've been sick and kinda scared when my life was potentially threatened during pregnancy. I mention it because I know that someone will read this post and use this particular case to justify abortion for all. They will say, "Well, you see what happens when abortion is not an option? Moms with cancer die leaving behind their husbands and little children! The young mother could have been saved and had more children later or adopted if she had wanted."

The truth is, the daughter is alive and healthy and will hopefully live to be an old woman, but the mother might have died anyway. Even when they seemed to have eradicated the cancer, you see that it has come back in the worst way nearly two years later. I want people to understand that the abortion-for-maternal-health issue isn't as black and white as the thumpers (abortion advocates) would have you believe. No one can tell you with certain accuracy that you are going to die if you don't abort anymore they can tell you that you are going to live if you do. There are guesses but oh how often doctors, who are just people, some of which graduated at the bottom of their class, are wrong.

Better that one person be saved than both perish. This mother offered her life for her child's life. She does not regret transcending the primal inclination to survive in order to love, protect and provide for her daughter. We should not regret it for her or ever use it against her in biased retellings of what harm NOT killing an innocent child may do.

:: ashli 4:12 PM # ::

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