"E had her ears pierced today. It's something I said she could do if she ever wanted to, but I talked it up really grisly-like to try and keep her a baby for as long as possible. She asked me this morning if she could get her ears pierced and said, "I know it will hurt." I knew she was ready. We took her after harp lessons, and she sat in silence while the lady pierced both of her ears. When it was all over she reached up for me to hold her. When I picked her up she buried her face in my neck and wept silently.
I cannot tell you how much I cherish this little girl.
She was always who she is, the same as you and me. She was only smaller and weaker before, but she was herself; she was alive and growing. She's so little even now, but she's getting bigger every day. One day she'll be a woman, God willing, and one day she'll be old.
She can breathe on her own but needs me now for mostly everything else. There will come a day when she won't. She isn't less of a person now and more of a person then. She's still E, always was, always will be.
I'm so disappointed in myself. How could I ever not have known this? Or worse--how could I ever not have cared?
In the history of the world, no people have ever been more disenfranchised than the weakest of us, the least of us, our littlest children. Our people think that killing them is evolved, while it is in fact barbaric. Light is dark, dark is light, bitter, sweet, sweet, bitter. Of us the 'choicers' think: 'They mean well but they're misguided.'
However, we have the benefit of being absolutely right.
We also have the daily sorrow as we think of all the Es and Ts, Ds and As, etc., who are being led away to slaughter by those for whom they were created (made to trust, made to love...). It's madness.
I was part of the machine and became even more than that to my own.
I'll never go back.
Out of the dark and into the Light. I'm thankful at least for that."
:: ashli 8:43 AM # ::