:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

:: Wednesday, November 26, 2008 ::

So we have a family trip scheduled for Disney. This was NOT my doing. It's a free trip, and my husband, on behalf of our children, couldn't resist. The land of oversized mouse ears and overpriced corn dogs is only 19 miles away from a place where parents bring their children--where we brought our child--to be slaughtered. One is a much more expensive "vacation" than the other, I can tell you. There's an E-ticket you do not want to punch.

This is not the best time of year either. If all had ended well so long ago, I probably would have sustained some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder from the hyperemesis alone. But I added so much on top of that it hardly registers.

The smell in the air. Winter is coming. Death. It reminds me of an illness, a child, a place, a happening that I spend most of my time trying to pretend never existed. Denial, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm not very good at it, and in fact I'm very bad at it particularly when my nose is thrust forward into the steaming pile of poo that is a trip to Orlando in winter months. Or any month really, but especially in winter.

I've been having some nasty-wasty thoughts of late. The truth of it all threatens my soap bubble with its menacing briar. This morning I was marveling over my daughter's tiny sleeping profile when I had the thought that if she needed a kidney I would give her two for good measure. Immediately, I thought of the first--maybe a girl just like her--a child in any case. And here I was doling out organs to her sister. Inwardly I laughed at myself and the perversion of this strange reality. Self-loathing.

Yes, I believe in Jesus, save your emails.

Two months ago an old but quietly cherished friend of mine accidentally ran over her 18-month-old while planting plum trees on their farm. I reiterate: it was an accident. It was not intentional, it was not premeditated, it was not scheduled and paid for. Still, she sat like a zombie for days, because that's child loss. But she emerged from the bewildered fog, because she loves Jesus and Jesus loves her (and the little children). Even so I wonder...I wonder if she feels the same about herself as she did before. I wonder what her mirror reflection means to her now. It's not something one asks, and so I'll never know. But I'm curious, not because I'm hateful, but because I'm a natural creature who wants to learn more about life and death and our experiences here on the big blue marble.

While my friend isn't guilty of murder, she will always know the driver of the van that killed her son. And so, dear brothers and sisters, while Christ's forgiveness renders me innocent, I will always know who killed my child. I will live with that until I go to be with Him.

For now, I have the heartbreaking poignancy of a trip to the big mouse who is also ironically part of the machine of sorrow.

:: ashli 6:56 PM # ::
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How many more?

HT: a

:: ashli 5:05 PM # ::
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Only 68 days to go. Please pass this around.

:: ashli 8:45 PM # ::
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Dispel the myths but know that any person who takes part in the slaying of an innocent person, through legislation or any other type of advocacy, is NOT a follower of Christ. He might call himself a Christian, but despite his self-appointment he cannot both follow Christ and reject Him.

By design God is not always obvious, yet God reveals His opinion of abortion in the Bible without using the world "abortion." (He is the Lord; He can do that.) He who has an eye, let him see what those with worldly agendas will not.

Consider Christ on earth: He healed many but never once did He kill. Nor did He help or encourage others to kill. There was never any circumstance where He led anyone to turn to death as a solution. Though He was sacrificed for us, it was the people who turned to death as the solution to the "problem" of Christ. The people got rid of Him because He posed an inconvenience. God knew they would, and though He used their malevolence for the good of all who would believe in His name, it remains that the malevolence of death belonged solely to the people who, via legislation or any other type of advocacy, slayed the Lord.

:: ashli 1:34 PM # ::
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Join the resistance.

:: ashli 12:50 AM # ::
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HT: a

:: ashli 4:32 PM # ::
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And so it begins.

:: ashli 1:33 PM # ::
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Yes, we care!
Thanks, McCain/Palin, for being American candidates we could be proud of working and voting for. We won't forget and we won't give up.

See you in 2012, Sarah!

:: ashli 2:39 PM # ::
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Rebuild and move forward. (Audio)

:: ashli 8:50 PM # ::
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More Short Change.

HT: TRA

:: ashli 8:43 PM # ::
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Short Change:
Gary Coleman in 2012!!!

HT: TRA

:: ashli 8:29 PM # ::
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"Our mission for the next four years is to be in opposition without becoming deranged."

HT: TRA

:: ashli 6:45 PM # ::
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In spite of such staggering loss today, keep an eye on this site for a beautiful victory!

:: ashli 8:49 AM # ::
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That's it, America. In yet another blatant rejection of Christ, we are now officially the ObamaNation.

We reap what we sow.
Buckle your seat belts.

:: ashli 11:40 PM # ::
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The Hour of Decision from Mark Mallett on Vimeo.

Unfortunately, it already is legal.

:: ashli 4:23 PM # ::
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This man is the freakin BOMB!
Somebody tell him to run for president!!!

:: ashli 9:13 PM # ::
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"It's sad that John McCain and his supporters are closing their campaign with increasingly angry, desperate, false attacks instead of offering up a single thing John McCain would do differently on the economy than George Bush," said one chickensh*t in defense of another.

By the way, we were waving signs in a public show of support for McCain today, as we've done for a month of Saturdays, and we were, as usual, cussed at and threatened. I guess the llamas don't fall far from the messiah.

To be fair, when I made voter reminder calls for the Republican party, I did encounter some racism (from whites), and I was shocked and disgusted. For all these people knew my husband was a black man and my children were biracial like Obama. People need to learn that if they're going to be bastards, they should keep their mouths shut.

I also got "schooled" on the subject of abortion from abortion supporters whose plans to vote for Hillary Clinton for president were thwarted by Obama. As it was not my function to discuss abortion, I chose to ignore the comments, closing with a blurb regarding what a privilege it had been to talk to them. This I did for the sake of the children, because the truth of the matter, folks, is that talk is cheap and votes can thrill or kill.

On a positive note, in a predominantly African American county with approximately 23,000 registered Democrats and 3,000 registered Republicans, there were many waves of support for McCain from African American people who are absolutely not drinking the Kool Aid. Maybe they know that Barak Hussein Obama supports abortion and will appoint supreme court judges who will continue to ensure that more African American children are aborted than born. Whatever the case may be, I salute these individuals, because around here, to be an African American voting for McCain would likely be a very isolating experience. It would take a lot of courage and a lot of character and probably a fair amount of secrecy.

God bless anyone, no matter the color of their skin, who does not consider skin color to be a presidential qualification.

:: ashli 8:22 PM # ::
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