"When I crack an egg I think of my dead child. When I see a pregnant woman I think of my dead child. When the life chain forms every year in October I think of my dead child. When I wake up in the middle of the night TO the nightmare instead of from it, I think of my dead child. When I look at my daughters now I think of my dead child. When I turn on the hand mixer I think of my dead child. When I drive past that building where she died I think of "her". When I am alone I think of my dead child. While driving the car sometimes it hits me-I have a dead child! When I change a diaper I think of my dead child. When I am actually able to enjoy my children I think of my dead child as being left out and looking on in anger, disgust and sadness. When I eat meat sometimes I think of my dead child. When I see a LeBonheur commercial telling me to "Give Life" I think of my dead child. When I put my contacts in and must look at myself closely in the mirror I think of my dead child. When I take my birth control pill every morning to keep from bleeding as it hurts too much to see it, I think of my dead child. When it should be her birthday I think of my dead child.
Worst of all days, when it is my birthday I think HOW COULD I CELEBRATE WHEN I MURDERED MY OWN CHILD!!!!"
:: ashli 6:59 PM # ::
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