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my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Thursday, September 29, 2005 ::

From Patte:

"I have changed the names to protect the identity of everyone involved. You are free to share this story with everyone you know for the glory of God!

In early September, 2005 we met a worried mother through our new online pre-abortion counseling ministry. Celia's 14-year-old daughter was more than halfway through pregnancy and wanted an abortion. We were told that the state of California automatically emancipates a girl from her parents as soon as she conceives a child, so apparently, Celia's daughter Sarah could abort without ever even consulting her mom. So, the abortion was planned.

Sarah had an appointment at Planned Parenthood and because of the lateness of her pregnancy, she was referred to a hospital to kill the child. Several of our online counselors contacted Celia and offered help and support and adoption information.

Celia is a neo-natal nurse and she knew the humanity of her grandchild, whom they were told was a little girl. Sarah's father, however, was pushing for abortion, and Sarah herself didn't care about the baby and didn't want to be a mother. Things looked bleak. We prayed and continued to reach out to Celia.

The very last night before she was to have her abortion, Sarah was given a DREAM. She described her dream to her mother saying: "Mommy, an angel told me to give my baby to Tula."

Due to injury from an abortion 10 years previously, Tula (a long time friend of the family) & her husband had been unable to conceive. Sarah woke up on the day that she was to have her baby snuffed out in a late term abortion and called Tula! Thanks be to God for His great and marvelous gift of life and protection for all the players in this drama!"

A note from Celia:

"She is here! Sunday morning at 9:55 A.M. Sarah delivered a darling baby girl. The doctors tried to keep the baby inside as long as possible but when the water broke at 7:35 the doctor said he had to let her be born. He checked and Sarah was 6 centimeters dilated. She was so tired of being in the hospital that she did not say anything when her labor started the night before. I felt bad cause she could have had an epidural for the pain. Finally I heard her get sort of grunty and she began to push. I could see the baby's head crowning, and Sarah pushed maybe 20 minutes.

Tula and Don were in the room and were so excited. Sarah's father (my ex) walked in as she began to deliver. It caught him by suprise to say the least. I figured he'd turn around and walk out but he didn't. He just watched. A week earlier he had offered Sarah an abortion with that doctor in Kansas who does it right until birth.* The baby is doing well she weighed in at 3lb 4oz,. The ultrasound was so accurate, to the ounce.

Everyone in the room cried including myself. Here was this little life that almost was not allowed to be born.

Tula and Don love their new baby and can't wait to take her home. She will be in neo-natal intensive care for 3-6 weeks . This morning Sarah signed away her rights to the baby. I told Sarah she could change her mind but she said she was not wanting to be a mother. She didn't cry but I sure did especially when the social worker asked herif she realized she had just given up all rights to the baby permanently. She signed a waiver to make it final and said she understood.

I thought adoption was suppose to be so painful for the mom. It was for me, but Sarah seemed totally at peace with her choice. I'm amazed at my daughter's strength.

I'm taking my vacation time to be with my daughter but also because it botherd me to think of seeing the baby each day in ICU where I work.

Sarah told Tula she did not want a lot of contact with the baby for the first year but would like pictures of her first birthday. I could see Sarah distancing herself from the baby.

I went to leave the hospital tonight and glanced in the nursery window. Don and Tula were in rockers next to the baby. They can't seem to leave her. Tula ran up to me and hugged me and said "Thank you so much." I started to cry being the emotional being that I am. She said 'Celia, I thought God was punishing me when I developed infertility after my abortion 10 years ago but now I think He must really love me to give me such a beautiful gift as this'. Her and her husband adore their new daughter. Sarah is doing fine. She is anxious to come home tomorrow. She has no regrets.

Celia"

:: ashli 9:52 AM # ::
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