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:: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 ::

Pro-Life Blogger Shatters Retirement Record
Florida, August 20, 2005
Special to The New York Times
Raving Atheist Reporting

Returning just 40 hours and 48 minutes after announcing her "retirement" from blogging, pro-life blogger Ashli of The S.I.C.L.E. Cell has smashed the previous records for both brevity and pure pathos.

What's particularly funny is that her "retirement" lasted only half as long as the recent break between her August 19 and August 23 posts, said one blogging expert. "If a day and a half is a "retirement," she must be collecting at least 1,500 separate pensions."

Another expert noted how pitiable it was that Ashli's retirement post invoked the poignancy of "So Long, Farewell" from the Sound of Music, convincing tearful readers that she was truly gone. "And before you know it there's this chipper 'Hey guys, look at this!' like nothing happened," he said. "Pathetic."

Ashli admitted she felt foolish but refused to promise that she would not do it again and again. "I just can't stand the idea of my blog wasting away in cyberspace, untouched and unread." she said. "And why let that happen when I can just push a button and throw out a link?"

Psychiatric experts noted the possibility of addiction. "She walks by the computer and thinks 'one more post can't hurt,'" said one doctor. "But it never stops. Soon she'll be sitting down writing a post and thinking 'just one more thought,' eventually spewing forth a 15,000-word blogopotomus."

:: ashli 10:54 PM # ::

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