:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Thursday, September 04, 2003 ::

"He soon stopped eating, began to lose weight, stayed home from work and nearly lost his home.

'My life spiraled down into a hell,' Walsh said. 'I had lost the one thing that I loved more than anything in the world, in the worst way you could imagine. I had nothing left to live for.'"

While our situations were obviously very different, I reacted to my illness-induced SICLE in exactly the same way. When I could finally eat, I stopped eating. I lost even more weight, stayed home from work, lost my job, would have lost my home if not for my husband. My life spiraled down into a hell. I had lost the one I loved most in the world, in the worst way you could imagine. I had nothing left to live for.

I ache for John and Reve Walsh. I'm glad that they don't have to look their child's murderer in the face each day, eat with him, shower with him, live with him, die with him... like I do.

:: ashli 6:38 PM # ::
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