:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Friday, September 05, 2003 ::

Excerpt from an email I received (with permission):

"I just watched the video 'The Silent Scream'. It really wasn't the doctor holding the model of the baby and showing how the forceps and everything removes the baby... it was the sound of that machine and the image of that girl up on that table with her feet in the stirrups and the doctor between her legs moving the suction tube in and out of her body... and the sound. You would think that I would have forgotten what suction sounds like when it makes contact with skin. Nope. I heard it in the video, and I was on that table again. You want to know something really crazy? That day, when I tried to get up and I couldn't... and [the abortionist] started the suction machine and I couldn't do anything but lie back... I stared up at the ceiling screaming, and I felt her leave my body. This was not just the suction making contact with her body and mine and the pull that it made, but I swear to you I felt something... life, a soul, a spirit... I can't explain it, but something left my body. I know it sounds crazy. That's why I haven't ever told anyone this. I already get the crazy look whenever I talk about my baby. To add my perspective about feeling my child's life force or soul leave... well just imagine the kind of crazy look I'd get then. That wouldn't help matters. But just between you and me, it did happen."

:: ashli 9:52 PM # ::

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