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my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 ::

It's Bible time at the SICLE Cell...

Uh oh. Ask and ye shall receive. Someone read my "do not pass go, do not collect $200" comment regarding "sin values", and they sent me a verse from the Bible that says:

"Suppose you see one of our people commit a sin that isn't a deadly sin. You can pray, and that person will be given eternal life. But the sin must not be one that is deadly. Everything that is wrong is sin, but not all sins are deadly. "
1 John 5:16-17

This is the CEV and the main idea seems to be that sins that lead to death are the "bigguns" and all other sins are the "smallins". The supporting idea seems to say that you don't have to pray for those who commit the bigguns.

Now, what kind of death is the Bible talking about here? Animal death or human death? Assuming it's human death, is it physical death or spiritual death? Assuming that it's physical, if death is a biggun and adultry is a smallin how come the Bible implies that a man can only divorce a woman if she's been getting her freak on with some other guy (Matt 5:32 and 19:9)? It doesn't say he can divorce her if she kills his child. But God hates divorce. Look at this simile:

"'For I hate divorce!' says the LORD, the God of Israel. 'It is as cruel as putting on a victim's bloodstained coat,' says the LORD Almighty."
Malachi 2:16a

The Bible doesn't say anything about abortion, although how could anyone use the Bible to justify it when the Bible says up and down how precious children are, how they are a gift from God and how God forms them in the womb?

And yet some so-called "Christian" factions have used the Bible to justify abortion, citing Exodus 21:22. Different translations render two completely different interpretations, one of them referring to a miscarried child and the other referring to a child who seemingly survives premature birth:

"Suppose a pregnant woman suffers a miscarriage as the result of an injury caused by someone who is fighting. If she isn't badly hurt, the one who injured her must pay whatever fine her husband demands and the judges approve." CEV

"Now suppose two people are fighting, and in the process, they hurt a pregnant woman so her child is born prematurely. If no further harm results, then the person responsible must pay damages in the amount the woman's husband demands and the judges approve." NLT

That scripture right there is a "whole nutha" blog.

Moving right along...

What of the unforgivable sin?

Hebrews 6 and 10 deal with this subject. If you want to drive yourself into a theological frenzy go here.

I'll be honest... I start reading stuff like this and I'm shaking in my boots. To convey the seriousness of the "discomfort" of my illness I used to say that if someone told me that nailing Christ to the cross would have gotten rid of my HG I would have gone to the shed for my hammer. Everytime I said it, it felt redundant. If you know Christ and you go out and abort your child anyway then you're pretty much wiping your feet on God's face as He bleeds for you. At least that's how it feels in spite of being forgiven.

Have I even been forgiven? I thought I was.

"Ask and God will forgive you." It's the first thing "post-abortion healing groups" tell you. But then Flip Benham fears for your soul and people start emailing you scriptures.

What I want to know is... what constitutes as rejecting God so thoroughly as to never be granted forgiveness? What constitues as knowing God so fully and maturely that you can even attain such a sin? Does any Christian fully know God? If not, how can any Christian fully reject Him? There must be an answer, but what is it? Abortion? Is that what Mr. Benham's crew is getting at?

I've got some unanswerable questions here, and I'm confused and even kinda worried. And when I feel this way guess who I turn to...

The Biggun.

THE Biggun.

So that's where I'm going to have to go with this one now. That's where I'm going to have to lay my heart and soul and sin. And if I'm hell-bound because I got unbelievably sick and looped and killed a baby that I wanted and loved and didn't want to kill at all... then I will not pass go, and I will not collect $200.

What I will do, in this life at least, is chase at the Lord's heels panting and sweating and begging like a dog to serve Him until the day I find myself burning in that eternal lava lake -and me without my waterwings- for it is better to have loved Him and lost Him than never to have loved Him at all.

:: ashli 7:42 PM # ::

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