:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Sunday, July 20, 2003 ::

My little boy, who does not know what abortion is and has not been privy to abortion images or tools of the trade, woke up wailing in the night. "What's wrong?! What's wrong?!" I asked. He couldn't speak for crying. I held him and told him it was alright and that "Mommy is here". After he calmed down enough to speak I discovered he'd had a bad dream. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, and he nodded.

"The machine!" he wimpered. "It was after me."

"What machine?" I asked.

Frustrated he snapped, "The machine with the blood tube!"

"What did it look like?" I wanted to know.

Slowly he explained, "It's a machine with a tube on it and there's blood in the tube. It was chasing me and I said, 'I'm too young to die!'"

I nearly fainted.

I know it's just some stupid nightmare. It can't be about abortion. He doesn't know about abortion. But imagine what I'm sitting there thinking, holding my crying son in a dark room as he wails in terror about a machine with a blood tube and being too young to die.

For a moment I find myself thinking: "I'm not."

SICLECell@hotmail.com

:: ashli 9:03 AM # ::
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