This morning my son said he wanted to have brothers and sisters like some friends of his. I told him that if he had a brother or sister he would have to share toys and Mommy and Daddy's love. "Don't you want to be an only child?" I asked. "Noooooo!" he cried. "I'm lonely!"
I don't discuss this type of thing with my son. He came up with the lonely concept entirely on his own. It just confirms my fear and pain. Everyone is having babies around us. He sees it, I see it, we all see it. Even someone's cat just had a litter of kittens. They've been talking about it for the last two weeks, and I find myself jealous of the confounded cat for being able to have babies so easily. I'm jealous of a CAT, I tell you.
I never would have lost a child in an abortion if I hadn't been tortured by HG. If my body were normal and I had babies like 97% of the pregnant population, this house would be full of children, abortion would be the last thing on my mind and my son would not be lonely.
