:: The S.I.C.L.E. Cell ::

my view from the prison of a SICLE (Self-Imposed Child Loss Experience) due to debilitating maternal disease
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:: Thursday, March 20, 2003 ::


When I lost my four-month-old child in an abortion, a certain song was in constant radio play. Some of the lyrics are:

"Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away when times got bad."

"I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light"

"And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories."

If I hear this song today it pierces the vacuum of time and the freeze-dried crystals of fresh emotion come roaring fragrantly to the surface. Lots of songs cast their personal reflections on my SICLE, but this is one of the biggies. It was written by a lovely woman who is lucky to be alive.

Sarah McLachlan was born to a 27-year-old Canadian art student who felt she could not raise a child. Instead of ending a personally unwanted pregnancy, the student made an adoption plan and compassionately carried her child to term. Sarah was born and adopted by loving parents whom she adores. Her music is great, her lyrics are striking, and in light of her own personal circumstances, one of her major causes is particularly unconscionable.

Sarah, an adopted child, is a huge fan of abortion rights. Instead of helping other little Sarahs make it out alive so they too can grow, experience the world, and pursue their own destinies, Sarah helps to ensure that her peers, the "unwanted", will never see the light of day. She is one of the many who believe strongly that a woman has a fundamental right to end a personally unwanted pregnancy. On her scale, a mother's choice trumps a child's physical well-being. It's dangerous and sad and, for her, obscenely hypocritical.

At a Rock for "Choice" benefit concert Sarah was openly disgusted by the never-ending controversy over the legal destruction of "unwanted" children like herself. "It seems absolutely bloody ridiculous we have this issue still in 2001," she complained. "Let's not go back to the dark ages." Her reference is to the age before legalized abortion, the age when she was legally protected in her mother's womb, the age wherein she herself was afforded a life that she might not otherwise have.

Abortion has snuffed out over 40 million lights in this country alone. It's amazing to me that someone as bright as McLachlan (and as "unwanted") cannot see that the world is not illumined by death, that we are living in the dark ages now, and that she is using her gift to cast long black shadows on the deepening void.

SICLECell@hotmail.com

:: ashli 10:38 AM # ::
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